I keep on dying in the dark, what do I do? You don't have to worry about seeing ghouls usually. You need to be able to see. There is no oil for the lamp, what do I do? Search carefully, keep your mind open. Find something else to see in the dark with. What do I need for the dark? Something small and light. Try a certain telepathic cat. The cat doesn't want to know me, what do I do? What do cats usually want? Don't attack it, and feed it. No one sells cat food, what do I do? Don't they? What kind of sandwich has the greengrocer got? I am short of cash, what do I do? Could someone have left some somewhere? Examine the tables, desks, shelves and so on. I can't get out of the tunnels, what do I do? Water thing to ask! Try using the coffin as a boat. Satanists keep killing me, what do I do? Don't wait to hear more of their chanting. Don't waste time in the chapel. The werewolf won't leave me alone, what do I do? Doesn't it make you feel weedy? Examine the weeds in the garden thoroughly. How do you get in the convent? Leave it till you find the key. Enter the Oak in the grove and start examining things. What do I do with Mary? What would Leisure Suit Larry do? Kiss her. Why won't the clove of garlic protect me? It's gone a bit stale. Plant it by the river, and come back much later. Where is the vampire? Where you would expect. Try digging in the graveyard. I can't find a spade, what do I do? Examine the gorse. Examine gorse wearing gloves from undergrowth by shed. The vampire keeps killing me, what do I do? You get cross, light and smelly, there is a lot at stake. You need cross, wild garlic, Julie and stake to kill it. The slug ate the garlic, what do I do? It needs a meal. Did you bring the cabbage from the greengrocer's stall? Where is the stake? You can find the beam, what else do you want? Paint beam with creosote, drop woodworm, return later. Where is the woodworm? Somewhere wooden. On the outside of the shed. The cat escaped, is that all right? You don't need to get gloomy. If you have killed the vampire you don't need to worry. I need the cat but she is gone, what do I do? Holy mortality, what a bus up! If you can, get the sacred relic and get killed... The dragon doesn't seem to like me, what do I do? Don't wait to be invited.... Kill it immediately. I can't kill the dragon, what do I do? Are you tanked up enough, dashing blade? Get sword, drink ale from flagon in underground stream. I have the Grimoire, where do I go? You have done as well as mortal man can... Get the sacred relic and get killed. Heaven is nice, but.... Examine concrete post.... Wait for a bus (wearing the shirt you started off with).