Dungeons, Amethysts, Alchemists 'n Everythin'
                    (Atlantis) RRP œ4.99
                    (STAC, text/graphics)

A few years ago, I read a brief review of the spoof adventure
DAAnE in one of the glossy adventure magazines which gave it a
high score of 9/10. Though it was said to be "amusingly
outrageous", it also said it was "genuinely funny", so it was
something of a disappointment to find that it was only available
on the Amstrad. But, recently, DAAnE appeared on the ST, written
with STAC and at a very good price - time to find out what all the
fuss was about. Would I be amused or outraged?

After the excellent loading screen came the title screen. Oh dear,
a mistake in the punctuation of the title didn't look too promising.
Then I started to play..... 

An hour and a half later (it would have been quicker but I made a
neat map!), the game was finished. With only 45 locations, 4 of
which are a pointless mini-maze and few problems (if you can call
them that), I found few compliments to pay the game, the notable
exception being the graphics which were excellent. Unfortunately
good graphics don't make up for a duff game. 

The story is very basic. The Dark Lord Tite-Arz (warning - you
ain't heard nothing yet!) has cast his evil spell over the land
causing high inflation and high unemployment. Only one thing can
save it - yes, the fabled amethyst, stolen from the Alchemist's
Tower. You, Gayleigh, a brave warrior, trot off to find and return
it, only to be waylaid by goblins and thrown into a cell from
which you must escape to start your quest.

This, indeed, explains the somewhat intriguing title though there
is in fact only ONE dungeon, ONE amethyst, ONE alchemist and not a
lot of anything else at all!

Humour? Well, it depends on your taste. If you're into nudge-nudge,
behind-the-bikesheds, juvenile humour, you'll love it. There's a
gay dwarf, a dubious girls' school whose sole reading-matter

consists of an S&M magazine, a locked chastity belt (no key, of
course) and a "naughty nun"!! H-i-l-arious....

The text is awful. Stalactites were confused with stalagmites in
one location and I assume that the description "The walls, although
rocky, have been covered in the most least good taste in wallpaper
you have ever seen" is meant to be part of the "joke"; sometimes
it's hard to tell with this game. The punctuation, however, I
assume to be genuine and clearly the author could do with a few
lessons. Though I didn't crash the game, I felt that was more due
to the fact there was little to go wrong due to the lack of content
rather than that it had been thoroughly playtested. 

Comparing the ST solution with the Amstrad one, I'd say there is
little or no difference between the two versions bar the improved
graphics. In summary, "cheap" doesn't necessarily mean "value for
money", in DAAnE's case, it translates better as "inferior".

                                             Sue