Secret of Monkey Island - Part III

   A Guide as played on an Amiga 500 by Ron Rainbird

... At the crossroads outside of Town, challenge passers-by to a
fight at every opportunity. This is the only way of amassing a
comprehensive list of "put-downs" to insults, necessary to know
before you can tackle the Swordmaster. For those wishing to have
prior knowledge of such replies, the following is a list of all
you will need. It is up to you to decide which answer is the most
effective as a comeback.  As an example, one insult is "People
fall at my feet when they see me coming", to which you should
respond with "Even BEFORE they smell your breath?". (This gives an
idea of the level of humour generously sprinkled among this
particular section). The following is a list of all available
replies:

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
Yes there are. You just never learned them.
You make me think somebody already did.
And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?
I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.
So you got that job as Janitor after all.
You run THAT fast.
First you'd better stop waving it like a feather duster.
I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.
He must have taught you everything you know.
I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.
Your haemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh!
Why, did you want to borrow one?
I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.
Too bad no-one's ever heard of YOU at all.

The insults from the Swordmaster could be different from those
used by the Pirates but the above answers can be used if
appropriate.

How do you meet the Swordmaster? When ready, go to the Storekeeper
in Town and tell him you want to see the Swordmaster. When he
leaves the Store, follow him. Then challenge the Swordmaster. When
successful in your fight, you will be given a T-Shirt and this
will have completed the first part of your Trials. Now go back to
the Scumm Bar and tell the Pirate Chiefs of your accomplishment.

Now for the second Test. Go to the Governor's Mansion, past the
Prison, and stop before the dangerous dogs. Give them the meat and
yellow flower that you have been carrying (I hope) and this
combination will knock them out. Enter the Mansion - and this is
where your troubles really start. Go to the door on your left, sit
back and watch the fun.

@~To be continued.