It Bugs Me!! By Jim Johnston So there I was, minding my own business, playing an old text adventure on my Speccy. It's called 'The Village'. This Quilled adventure is on a copy of the tape magazine 16/48 which expired around 1985. The storyline is a blatant copy of 'The Prisoner' theme (Presently enjoying a re/re/run on television.) Anyway, I had the candle and there was a match visible - take match - I see no match here - get match - I see no match here. Oops! It's a BUG ! After spending some time trying to produce an input that would allow the game to continue, the game was tossed aside as unplayable - no match - no light - sudden death. And then I thought ... What exactly is this 'thing' we call a bug ? Collin's Dictionary and Thesaurus defines the 'bug' we are talking about as "a fault, as in a machine". The thesaurus goes on to expand this to :- blemish, catch, defect, error, failing, fault, flaw, gremlin, imperfection, snarl-up. I consider that to be a fair description of what we call a 'bug' in the computer sense. There is, however, a tendency amongst computer buffs to think of bugs as mildly irritating, unimportant glitches in the programs we use. In my opinion, this attitude is wrong. Let me explain what I mean. We all use cars. Not only do we use them but we expect them to be reliable. I do not think anyone would be pleased to own a car which failed to start every other time and on which the brakes failed at random intervals, due to 'bugs' in the system. Put another way, is your mechanic of sufficient expertise and competence to provide a proper service to your car? How about a practical example of incompetence? Some years ago I found that the car I owned required some engine maintenance. Not wishing to spend the money to have it repaired at a garage, I undertook the job myself. The job involved removing and replacing the cylinder head and to do the job I had to remove, temporarily, the parts that were in the way. The job completed, I started to put it all back together again. While tightening down the head bolts with a socket - improvising with a high tensile three cornered file as a lever - the file snapped. I replaced the broken file with the proper bar and finished the job. As I had disconnected the hydraulic brake pipes, I reconnected them then bled the system and topped up the reservoir with brake fluid to make sure they worked. Didn't I do well !! The following day, while driving on a busy dual carriageway, I reached an intersection just as the lights began to change. I put my foot on the brake and NOTHING HAPPENED. I immediately switched my foot to the accelerator and with my hand on the horn, drove across the changing lights as fast as I dared. I drove on gears and hand brake to the nearest phone and called the AA. We found that the brake system was drained of fluid. The AA mechanic removed the brake pipes and found a tiny splinter, from the broken file, had lodged in the sealing nut of one of the brake pipes, allowing the fluid to be pumped out when the brake was used, until it was empty. The 'bug' was caused by my incompetence in using a useless substitute for the proper lever bar (which was available but not at hand) and obviously I had taken on a job which was beyond my capabilities (not realising that high tensile metal could fragment at the fracture). The laws of this country require that if you offer goods or services to the public, they must be of Merchantible Quality, free from defect and fit for the use. Thus when you buy your car (or washing machine or whatever) and you find that it does not work properly, you can insist on your rights under the law (i.e. the return of your money). If it was some time before the defect (bug) came to light then the manufacturer may decide to repair the goods to merchantible quality and return them to you but they must take one of the above actions under the law. If, however, you have tampered with the item in an attempt to determine or rectify the fault (bug) before contacting the manufacturer, he may refuse to do anything, on the grounds that the fault may have been caused by you and your tinkering. The reason I mention all this detail is to indicate how a manufacturer must act if he hopes to stay in profitable business. He must produce his product to what he regards as merchantible quality, then he must set up procedures to ensure that the product is thoroughly tested to see that it is free from defect (bugs) and fit for the use (as defined by him). Only then can he offer it to the public. No excuse is tolerated on a premature marketing of goods or services. For these same reasons I say that computer hardware/software which is sold to the public containing faults (bugs) must have been produced by persons who lacked the competence or ability to produce it 'bug free' and the promotion and sale of hardware/software known to be faulty is contrary to the laws of this land as defined in the Trades Description Act and the Sale of Goods Act. So what should you do if you find a fault (bug) in your hardware/software? You should return it to the place you purchased it from and give details of the fault (where and when it occurs), request a 'bug-free' copy and failing that, your money refunded. I can assure you that any genuine software house will be only too pleased to rectify the fault indicated and supply you with the updated working copy. If you fail to receive satisfaction (and cannot afford the legal costs of a civil action) you can always resort to publicising the details in one/all of the popular magazines either as an article or letter. State the facts and stay within the libel laws. It may not help you directly but may put others off buying faulty hardware/software. What about a disclaimer? Suppose the company prints a disclaimer saying that they are not responsible if their product is faulty (bug ridden) and causes you loss due to product failure. No disclaimer is worth the paper it is written on. No person who offers goods and services to the public can write his way out of his responsibility or obligations under the law nor can he diminish or cancel your rights and protection under the law by any means, written or otherwise. And then I thought ... Disclaimer:- The words and punctuation used in this article are copyright of the author. Anyone found to be using them will suffer the full force of the law. The author cannot be held responsible for anything under the sun, within the universe or out of it. This immunity is perpetual, hereditary and legally binding upon the reader from the moment he (she, it) completes reading this.