WHO'S MAD? - A RESPONSE TO AN ARTICLE IN THE PREVIOUS ISSUE.

                       by Jean Childs

May 2nd: Four friends are gathered together for a farewell party,
before each goes his own separate way. "Where are you going,
John?"  asks James. "I'm off to climb a mountain," John replies.
"What about you Julian?". Julian grins from ear to ear. "I am
playing in the tennis championships.". James turns to the fourth
member of the group.  "What are your plans, Jack?". Jack folds his
newspaper having read the weather forecast. "I'm headed for the
North Pole. But what about you, James?". "I'm going to play a new
adventure game on my computer" says James. "It's called `Time,
Magic And Orange Peelers'. There was a good review of it in
SynTax". His three friends smile sympathetically then, looking one
to the other, they shake their heads.

May 9th: John is about to start his long and arduous climb up the
mountain. At the base of the mountain is an asylum, and John sees
a man leaving that place wearing a `Spock' outfit and calling
"Beam me up, Scotty!". "You're mad!" says John. "Not any more,"
replies the man.  "They say I'm better now, and I have a
certificate to prove it." He smiles at John. "Have you?" are the
man's parting words. At about the same time, Julian has
successfully completed his preliminary round in the tennis
championships. Jack has hooked up his team of dogs and is heading
for the North Pole. James, however, is being bombarded with spells
by an evil wizard. "Oh God!" cries James "Help me!". "I don't
exist," replies God. "Besides, I have my own trials and
tribulations".

May 16th: John has just made camp, having decided to leave the
final `push for the top' until tomorrow. Julian is through to the
quarter-finals, and is having a friendly chat with his opponent
before the match. "What do you do for a living?" asks Julian. "I
work with computers" is the reply. Julian looks a little anxious.
"You don't play adventure games, do you?" he asks. "I don't play
any games." His opponent practices his backhand swing. "After
spending all day at the keyboard, I can't be bothered with them in
my spare time. Besides, I have to practice my tennis". Jack has

reached the North Pole but is a little worried about his return
trip, as there has been a change in the weather. He makes a mental
note to change his newspaper.  Meanwhile, James is more than a
little worried. He is trapped in a maze, a huge maze. Sheets of
paper, all covered with little boxes, surround him. "I hate
mazes," he screams in desperation.

May 23rd: John is on his way to base camp, tired but happy with
his achievement. Julian, in the final match of the championships,
is leading four games to love. The title is in the bag. Jack is
struggling on his homeward journey. At one point, waist-high in
snow and ice, he sees a blue hedgehog come tumbling towards him.
"What are you?" he asks in total disbelief. "I'm a hedgehog,"
answers the creature. "But you're blue," says Jack. Now it's the
hedgehog's turn to look at Jack with disbelief. "That's because
it's so b****y cold," the hedgehog answers. James has almost
reached the end of his game. He has a score of ninety out of a
possible hundred. He is in a strange octagonal room. There is an
ogre here with a MENSA magazine under its arm. If he was to go
north, he would finish the game. "North" types James. "Ten points
is ten points" replies the ogre.

May 30th: The four friends are once again gathered together. "What
are your plans now?" James asks the other three. "I'm going to
hang up my boots and write my memoirs," answers John. "A little
practice now and again," says Julian, "but no more tournaments
this year". Jack takes a minute or two to contemplate his
immediate future. "A long holiday in the Bahamas," he replies,
still trying to rub the frost-bite out of his fingers. "What about
you, James?".  Of course James doesn't need any time to decide.
"There's a new computer adventure game out called `One Thousand
Things To Do With An Orange Peeler'. I'm just off to buy it now".