COMEDY LITERATURE... THE REVENGE!
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                  THE GALAXY GAME, By PHIL JANES

                    Reviewed By James Jillians

Phil Janes is a new SF-Comedy author and this, the first novel in
his first series, was published last year and has only recently
come out in paperback.

Knowing me to be a fan of humorous novels, you might imagine that
I was excited to hear about this. Full of expectation, I bought
the first book, and with dimmed lights and a comfortable armchair,
I plunged in...

The game deals with the exploits of one Richard Curtis, a clever
but unfortunately clumsy scientist who wants more than anything
else to develop a spacecraft that will enable him to travel to
far-away stars. In fact, the only thing that is stopping him
achieving this is the problem of inertia which tends to turn
humans travelling at a fast enough speed into messy pink smudges
on the walls of the spaceship control room. Fortunately, one day,
Curtis finds in his kitchen cupboard, amongst the tins of beans
and cereal packets, three plain-looking small boxes each printed
with the words "Inertialess Device".

Inspired by this newly-found solution to all his construction
problems, Curtis builds a spaceship and hires a crew of intrepid
voyagers to become the first people to reach another inhabitable
planet.

We soon discover that Curtis and his friends are in fact only
pawns in an intergalactic game being played by god-like mega-
beings, who long ago dispensed with bodily functions, and whose
only form of recreation is manipulating lesser species. Round One
of "The Galaxy Game" requires the two players to take their
respective teams of lesser mortals to another solar system.
Unfortunately, this time the reigning champion has not only been
lumbered with the human race, he has unwittingly picked Curtis and
his chums!

The first novel in the series is all about the adventures of our
heroes on their epic journey. The champion's opponent (the
challenger) tries everything conceivable to stop them achieving
their objective - but will he be successful?

Like many other SF-Comedy novels, The Galaxy Game's main source of
humour is in the characters and how they interact with each other.
Phil Janes has created some very interesting personalities with
which to delight us: The clumsy Curtis who attracts disaster like
flies to a cow-pat, the malicious computer Arnold, deaf as a post
and whose programming isn't quite up to scratch, the weakling
Wilverton who is convinced that he is only part of a Science-
Fiction novel, as well as Carlton the womaniser whose contact
lenses have a mind of their own and Big Bill Bowen, a grumpy old
geezebag with a very bad temper.

The chaos created when these clashing personalities come together,
as well as the antics of the equally ridiculous and extremely
unlucky baddies, are constant sources of fun and make the book
what it is. The author relies on worst-case scenarios and wildly
exaggerated personality traits; it's not at all realistic, in fact
downright silly, but that's its charm.

The author is an artful master of words. There are many funny
comparisons, new turns of phrase and the text is packed with
allusions to our literary and cultural heritage. The whole thing's
written in a witty and often sarcastic tone. I'll give you a few
examples to clarify:

"...It's all because stars are such an inconsiderably long
distance away. You can walk sufficient miles to qualify for dozens
of mammy's smiles and still not be within spitting distance of a
star unless you happen to be someone who can bull's-eye a spittoon
from a range of several trillion kilometres..."

"...For Curtis, whose co-ordination was that of Pinnochio
immediately after the strings had been cut..."


"...The view from the port currently contained as many space-ships
as steamy love scenes in the Bible..."

This kind of mildly amusing turn of phrase seems to be a distinct
feature of SF-Humour and Janes uses it again and again.

There are many references to other well-known SF and Fantasy
books, films and television programmes, for example, Asimov's
Robot novels, Star Trek and Lord Of The Rings. These work well and
produce quite a few giggles. We love to laugh at in-jokes.

One thing I didn't like was the actual story-line. The novel
seemed to drag on after a while and the constant jokes and sheer
silliness of the story seemed to become heavy and unamusing after
a while. This is the kind of novel you need to read in short
bursts - it's too much to take in one sitting!

A second reading is certainly worth-while - when I did this I
noticed many very funny jokes I missed the first time.

The text of the paperback copy is very small and difficult to
read. Watch out for eye-ache!

Look out for the second book in the series, Fission Impossible,
out in softback.

ROUND-UP

I recommend The Galaxy Game, especially to people who enjoyed the
styles of authors like Grant Naylor, Robert Rankin and Terry
Pratchett. There are definitely some big laughs to be had. But be
warned - some of the ideas are very silly and potentially
juvenile.

                   FUN FACTOR     :   9 out of 10
                JILLI-READ RATING :   7 out of 10



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