A Day In The Life Of A Fisherman.

             By Tom Settler - aka Jean Childs
  (With apologies to anyone who hasn't played Settlers and won't
                know what on earth I am on about.)

Well there I was, standing with a group of other men, all
waiting for a job. "Is this the labour exchange?" I asked the
man next to me.

"No" he said "this is the main castle". George, for that was his
name, went on to explain to me that unlike the labour exchange,
here you qualified for a job by being next in line.

"What sort of job?" I asked him as we moved further along the
line. But he didn't get time to tell me as there was a commotion
at the door.

A builder had just entered and was obviously fuming mad. "Damn
waste of time" he bellowed. "There I was building a watch-tower
when one of their builders appears and starts building a
guard-room. Busting a gut I was to get mine finished before him,
but I didn't." He seemed a bit choked up, but continued.
"Hanging about waiting for stones, I was. I hoped and prayed
they would arrive before their knight did. Then along comes the
cheeky tin-can knight laughing at me. Even winked before he
entered his guard-room, and then 'puff' up goes my watch-tower
in flames." He stormed off into the castle shouting "I want to
see the governor about these here delivery priorities".

"I don't want to be a builder" I said to George.

He shook his head "Me neither, but we have to take what we get
and it won't be long before we know". It was the turn of the man
in front of George.

"Godfrey" a voice boomed out of nowhere. "You're a coal-miner".
A pickaxe suddenly appeared in Godfrey's hand, and he left the
castle muttering about not having wanted to get his hands dirty.

"George" the voice boomed out again. "You're a wood-cutter". An
axe appeared in George's hand and his eyes lit up.

"At last" he said. "I've always wanted this kind of job". There
was a look of madness in his face as "DEFORESTATION!" he shouted
as he jumped through the doorway.

I was next but there was a wait of several minutes before my
name was called. "Tom" informed the voice. "You're a fisherman".
I looked down at the fishing-rod in my hands. "Hurry up"
commanded the voice and I left the castle. "Take the path to the
right" called the voice as I hesitated.

I was out in the big wide world and what a strange place it was.
I casually walked down the path to the right of the castle. A
man was standing at the side of the path, looking first one way
and then the other. "Are you trying to cross this path or are
you just practising the green cross code?" I asked him.


"I'm looking for supplies" he answered, still turning his head
from side to side. "I'm a carrier. I form a link in the system
of transportation. Where are you headed?".

I looked at the rod in my hands and thought that if he stopped
turning his head and looked at me, he'd know. "I'm looking for
somewhere to fish".

"Oh, lucky you" he said. "Take the second path on the left".
Before I had time to thank him, he headed back towards the
castle to pick up some stones that were beginning their journey
to some new site.

I continued my journey, taking the second path on the left, and
passed other carriers. Apart from confirming my directions, each
just kept turning their heads from side to side. I noticed a few
trees here and there, and soon I entered a whole forest of them.
I passed the wood-cutter's hut but saw no sign of George. On a
path at the other side of the forest, a carrier told me to take
the next path to the right. Soon after this turning I passed a
garrison and then I noticed that the path became steeper and
presently there were mountains to the left of me.

"Have I got to climb those?" I asked the next carrier that I
passed.

"No" he said "take the third path to the right. But hurry up,
those miners are starving".

I came to a coal mine and there was the miner pacing up and down
outside. "I'll have a bag of chips with mine" he called to me. I
stopped and was about to speak to him when he shouted "Hurry up
with the fish". I decided that now was not a good time to stop
and chat.

Further along the path I met a carrier carrying gold. It was
nearly as big as he was. "That looks heavy" I said.

"It is" he replied. "I'd rather be going in the other direction
carrying the gold ore."

"Or what?" I asked.

"That's all we need" he said. "A comedian! Would you mind
stepping to one side and letting me pass with this gold?"

Before I reached the point where I turned away from the
mountains, I passed the goldsmith. He stood in the doorway with
his hands on his hips. "You got a cushy job" he called. "Shame
it won't be for long".

"Why?" I asked him, a trifle concerned.

Just then a geologist appeared and, a few feet from us, began
hitting the path with his hammer. "Yahoo!" he shouted, and stuck
a sign in the path with a big white circle on it. He then turned
and moved away from us.

"Typical" said the goldsmith. "Put down a new path so someone
can come and dig it up."

"He seems happy in his work though" I ventured.

"You have to have an ology to get that job" said the goldsmith.

"Why did you say my job won't be for long?" I asked again.

"Right on the front line, you are. And your knights have no gold
in their hut, so they won't be putting up much of a fight."

"Can you give them any?" I requested. "This is my first job."

"Sorry" he shrugged his shoulders. "There's a big order on from
the garrison, and I'm right out of coal now."

I continued my journey, turning away from the mountains, and my
heart as heavy as the gold. "Maybe" I thought to myself. "If I
catch a lot of fish, the coal-miners will produce more coal for
the goldsmith, and he'll send some gold to my knights". Soon I
noticed a vast expanse of water in the distance. As I approached
the water, I noticed my hut and decided to check it out first.
There was nothing in there, so I left the hut and went to the
water's edge to start fishing. Cast out, reel in, cast out, reel
in - nothing. I kept trying for a while and then went back to
the hut to see if anything had changed. It was still empty so I
went back to my fishing. After a couple of attempts at casting,
A FISH. I had caught my first fish and was well chuffed with
myself. I dropped it by the flag outside my hut and went inside
again. "Go on" I told myself "go and do it again". Just as I
started to fish again, a carrier arrived to collect my fish.

"Poor you" he said as he hurried by. "Your first and last fish."
He indicated to my right. I turned and was devastated to see
three enemy knights about to attack our knights' hut. Two of
them were Lieutenants and one was a Captain. The first of our
knights to emerge from the hut in defence was a Corporal. He
fought bravely and managed to dispose of the Captain and one of
the Lieutenants before meeting his end at the hands of the other
Lieutenant.

"That's not bad" I thought to myself. "Two down, one to go." A
sudden tug on my line made me turn away. As I reeled in my fish
I found myself feeling a little more confident, but as I turned
back my heart plummeted through my boots. The knight's hut was
surrounded by the enemy. There were at least six Lieutenants, a
couple of Corporals and another Captain.

I dropped the fish outside my hut and went inside. I hate to
admit this, but I was too scared to come out. I knew I should
carry on fishing for as long as I could, but...... Suddenly my
mind was made up for me. My hut burst into flames around me and
I had to struggle, coughing and choking, to the outside. The
knights' hut now bore the enemy flag, the path had disappeared,
and my fish, my lovely fish, gone.

I hurried to the nearest path that still belonged to us, and
began my journey back to the castle. One good thing was the
sound of the goldsmith, who was busy refining the gold ore that
was piling up outside. There was also a lot of refined gold
waiting to be collected. I'd have loved to have picked one up in
order to help, but I knew that I would have the union after me
if I did. My spirits were lifted even more when I saw our
knights hastening from the garrison, obviously out to re-take
our lost knights' hut. "Go lads, go!" I shouted after them, and
wished that I could go back and watch the excitement. Of course,
they didn't answer. Knights don't mix with workers.

Soon I came across a man with a tiny tree under his arm, which
he 'popped' into the ground. I noticed that there were a few of
these tiny trees around, along with a lot of tree stumps. Then I
noticed George's hut and realised that I was at the 'forest',
but where were the big trees? "I can't keep up with him" cried
the forester. "As soon as my trees reach full size, that George
appears and cuts them down". He appeared very disgruntled.

"Surely" I said "he's only doing his job. It's natural."

"Is that natural?" he asked pointing to one of the tree stumps
on which were etched the letters 'R.I.P.'.

I hurried along, unable to answer that question, and before long
arrived back at the castle. I was alarmed to find a fight going
on at the castle door, but my mind was soon put at ease when the
carrier there explained that they were "pushing their luck".
Apparently, we had a large army of knights inside and they had
"no chance". I stood and watched the fight with interest and
also because I couldn't get past them to get inside anyway.
Eventually the fight finished as the enemy knight slithered into
the ground to go to wherever dead enemy knights go to. I
re-entered the castle.

I was directed to the waiting-room for fishermen. There was a
man already in there. "Hello" I greeted him.

"Hello yourself." he said. "Did you catch anything?".

"I caught two but the second one disappeared. What about you?" I
asked.


"I didn't catch anything. I fell asleep inside the hut". He
yawned. "When I awoke the hut was on fire."

"The enemy?" I inquired .

"No, the player. He must have decided that I was a waste of
space".

Suddenly a sign flashed above the door. It said 'Vacancy -
report to main gate'. "Your turn" I said and turned to my
colleague, but he was asleep. I left the waiting-room and soon
found myself on my journey to another lake, this time to the
left of the castle.

Most of the journey was uneventful, but as I reached a garrison
I could hear movement from within. They were being called to
action. "Pew, Pew, Barney Magrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub". As I
passed the garrison they filed out behind me. I stopped so as to
let them pass, but when I received a short, sharp kick I decided
to keep going. It was embarrassing to be holding up an army of
soldiers, and I was glad when I saw the lake and was able to
disappear into my hut. When I came out of the hut the knights
had gone, but the sound of clashing swords told me that they
weren't far away. I settled down to fish and looked around at my
new surroundings. Right across the middle of the lake was a row
of poles and on the other side of the lake was an enemy
fisherman's hut. The fisherman was walking around the lake
coming in this direction. He stopped a few feet from me and
started to fish.

"Hey!" I called. "You can't fish here. This is our land."

"You don't own the water" he replied. "Besides, our need is
greater than yours". He explained to me that 'the tide had
turned'. He said he was important as he was their only fisherman
and that they were out of food.

"Why don't they build more fishermans' huts?" I asked.

"We've got no wood."

"Why doesn't your wood-cutter chop some? I suggested.

"He's stuck in the castle because he hasn't got a hut" the man
explained.

"Why don't they build him one?" I enquired.

"We've got no wood."

I gazed into the lake, deep in thought. I wondered how the
battle was progressing. Moments later, my question was answered
by flames coming from the hut across the lake. The poles in the
lake had disappeared. "Look" I cried, but the enemy fisherman
was already on his way to the enemy castle.

Soon the glorious knights appeared playfully arguing about whose
turn it was to put the kettle on. "Who won?" I needlessly called
to them. Of course they didn't answer me as I was a mere
fisherman. "Hey!" I shouted as they passed. "If it wasn't for us
workers feeding the miners, you'd have no weapons or gold. Who
won?" I repeated. One of the knights made a sign to me with his
fingers. I think he was indicating a victory. I think.
















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