Starwreck - Chris Jones/Castlesoft RRP œ5.00

                 Reviewed by James Judge

This one's already been reviewed by Sue some time ago but after
giving me her copy to review for RH I got past the so-called fatal
bug Sue supposedly came across so here I am, doing a second
opinion.

Starwreck, The Voyage Of The U.S.S.Less is a STACed adventure from
the keyboard of Chris Jones.  You start off in the ship with all
the usual characters (Birk, Snotty, Spook, Dr Moans, Ahora, Zulu
and Jerkov) who were all introduced to us by the rather strange
manual bundled in with the packaging. The manual consists mainly
of a story about the crew members and is also used as the copy
protection.  Rather a novelty, copy protection on a STAC game, but
it does turn out to be a pain and can easily be cracked, you just
need a blank bit of paper. The protection check is carried out
every time you start the adventure either through dying or loading
from fresh and does become highly boring. It takes the form of
type in word x in paragraph y on page z. There are only about
seven variations which the computer throws up at you so it is
easier to note down a new one when it appears and you'll have a
small table for quick reference.

Why the U.S.S.Less is on this planet is because Snotty needs some
more delerium crystals for his 'por wee ingin'. The ship's piggy
bank is rather empty so Birk has decided to 'borrow' some form the
nearby Klinker spacestation. These Klinkers aren't the most
friendly of aliens so instead of risking himself or a valuable
member of the crew Birk decides to send you. Ho hum.

After typing in your name (don't just press return or else you
will be called ',' which is confusing when reading text) and going
through the copy protection (snore) the data is loaded and the
game begins on the bridge. There are about eight locations to
explore here and they all have graphics and some are animated - a
nice touch but it does slow the game down sometimes.  This is the
first of, from what I can gather, three parts. The first is the
ship, the second is the spaceport and the third is the station.
You can't get back into the ship so you've got to make sure you've
got everything you need for the later parts of the game.

This is harder than it sounds because one puzzle is extremely
difficult due to an item not being listed in the room description
or object list. You must have this item (a bottle to start with
but to drop it you must type in whiskey) so you can get a couple
of items to knock out a Klinker guard later on.

Once you've escaped from the ship (watch out for the Venuvian
Slime Bogey!) you'll be in the spaceport. Your oxygen won't last
long so you'll have to be a bit nibble on the old feet. This is
where Sue came across problems. You have to give a frog a grub so
it gives you a hologram of a Klinker so you can enter the station.
According to Sue no much what she fiddled and manipulated she
could not find it. If she'd taken a small south detour beside the
ship and examined the boulder she'd have found it. Fatal bug
un-fatalised!
@~What can I say?? ... Sue

Upon entry of the station you start to feel the pangs of hunger
and, once again, you've only got a certain amount of moves before
you die of starvation. This is the bit I'm now having trouble on.
I got past the Klinker guard who is guarding the kitchens (thanks
Sue and Jim) but then I was told by everyone (even the 'official'
solution which is wrong in more places than I can count) that in
the kitchen there were some beans which I could eat and banish my
hunger. I feel suddenly like Sue.

No matter where I look, what I do or manipulate I can't find the
œ$*^&*$ beans or any other form of sustenance so here I believe
IS a fatal bug. Castlesoft haven't replied to my letters of
pleading and threats (only joking about the pleading) so I'm

consigning the whole package to the 'DO NOT TOUCH UNLESS MIND
NUMBINGLY BORED' pile.

My overall opinion of the game is one of utter disappointment.
From what I've seen the game could have turned out to be quite
good if only a few things had been added and taken away. According
to Sue's review the game took two years to write which is quite
surprising, unless the time was spent down the local pub.

Apart from the good graphics and a nice touch here and there (the
prompt for a second word of your input if the game doesn't
understand it e.g. > get photon, if photon is understood the game
asks 'get what' and gives you the chance to type in the right
word.

The rest of the game is an utter shambles. It tries to look like a
professional presentation with a box, manual, graphics, animation
and a bit of sound. These all look good on the surface but the
game (usually the most important bit of an adventure) is what
shows how second rate it is. The spelling is decidedly dodgy (even
in the manual).  There are capital letters, spaces and punctuation
missing. There is no ramsave or 'oops' facilities which are
extremely easy to program into STAC (just copy it from the manual).
Objects dropped in rooms aren't listed when you type in LOOK at a
later date so it's a case of making notes as to where you drop
everything. Some objects aren't listed in the room description
when first encountered and items of clothing don't appear in the
inventory when worn. In some rooms you mustn't drop items at all
because they just disappear (don't blame 'em actually). Further...
erm... cockups are the ability to 'get bottle' but you must 'drop
whiskey', having to push a bench to some lockers but not having to
stand on it to reach the unreachable item and a score but no
'score' command.

What makes me really chuckle (and angry in a way) is that in the
credits it names two 'de-buggers' who I gather are basically
playtesters. HA! HA! HA! Playtest, they don't know the meaning of
it.  It is not as if the bugs are hard to spot or only appear now
and again, they're all over the place.  Also whoever did the
'official' solution must have been pretty stoned while doing it
with commands not even accepted by the damn game.  I've played
better, more enjoyable, less bugged games through PD or Shareware
and asking œ5 for it, what do the people at Castlesoft think we
are? Pillocks? I wonder how many they sold at œ20?  Even if I
wasn't stuck I would still consign the game to the 'BORED' pile
because to be completely honest with you it is rubbish.

Buy it at your peril, play it at your death. If anyone has got
further than the kitchen and starvation could you contact me as
Sue wants me to try and do a proper solution. Contact me via
Syntax or at 33 Chidley Cross Road, East Peckham, Nr. Tonbridge,
Kent, TN12 5BX.

@~Castlesoft were at Levenmouth Business Centre, Riverside Road,
@~Leven, Fife, KY8 45LT but I am not sure if they are still
@~there ... Sue









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