Just Where Do We Stand?
                       by James Judge

The time of festivity is over and we're all lumbered with numerous
pairs of socks and acrylic jumpers that we'll never wear - let's
ignore the fact they're acrylic, it's just the fact that they have
those dashing zigzag patterns of clashing red and brown colours
that are a definite no-no in the cool and happening world of
computer adventuring.  Hopefully, though, at least some of us got
a few computer related items - a Pentium here, 6 speed CD-ROM
there - oh, if only....

Anyway, the article. What's it about? Well, I was thinking, you
see, about how some shops offer, after Christmas, the opportunity
to refund you your money if you don't like your acrylic jumper.
This shows a huge amount of generosity on the shop's behalf as it
isn't in the law for them to offer you this service - all they
have to do is refund or replace an item if it is damaged or
doesn't fulfil the purpose for which it was sold (ie if the shop
assistant says you can use the potato peeler as an extra remote
for the TV, but you can only use it to change the volume on the
hi-fi). Of course, if the item isn't as it was on the box or in
adverts then you can have a couple of people - the shop and the
manufacturer - in trouble by the trading standards council, who
try to see that these things don't happen.

So, what has all this to do with us? There's nothing in the above
paragraph you can't glean from an episode of Anne and Nick. Well,
as I was thinking about this wonderful service (and whether the
shops from which the twelve jumpers I was given actually offer
this service...) I started to think about ordinary consumer rights
and, in particular, those rights concerning computer hardware and
software.

Well, with the hardware there is no problem - all of the items
which I've got that were either damaged or didn't fulfil the
purpose I intended for them were all replaced (or refunded) by all
the shops and mail order services I've dealt with over the years -
everything from small leads to expensive soundcards and adapters.
There was no hassle - I just checked the specs before
ordering/buying, got the sales assistant's name and their
guarantee that it'd work for what I'd specified and if it didn't
work as planned (even if it was my fault) I'd be able to get a
full refund. This happened every time. (A little hint if you are
buying hardware - always seem dim to the sales assistant. If you
burst into a shop spouting TLAs (three letter acronym <grin>) and
asking for an item of hardware straight away you'll probably be
supplied with the said item, but if it doesn't work with your
machine and it's due to an incompatibility on your side the shop
won't be all that happy giving you a refund. However, if you act
as naive and as dumb as an elk then you can claim it was the shop
selling you an incorrect item of hardware for the job you needed.
You can show a lot of technical competence - but only if someone
makes a mistake. Sneaky or what...).

Software, though, is a completely different matter. I can remember
getting an item of software (Lands Of Lore) from mail-order shop
X. I received it one day, installed it, loaded it and ... was
presented with a black screen after the intro. After a harried
call to Virgin's UK helpline (very good, by the way - one of the
better, more friendly services I've come across) and a little test
out disabling parts of my computer and doing everything in my
power and Virgin's power we came to the agreement that the disks
were well and truly not working with my computer. I asked Virgin
what I should do and they said that as it wasn't working with my
system I should be entitled to a full refund from the shop - the
shop wouldn't suffer and I'd be able to get my money back.

So, I 'phoned shop X and said that the game wasn't working on my
system. "oh" said they "get on to Virgin - we're not going to help
you". Aha! I told them both my and Virgin's escapades (the
helpline even 'phoned the American helpline and spoke with someone
who developed the game - something above and beyond the call of
duty methinks) and the subsequent decision. "oh" said they "well,
we're not going to give you anything apart from a new game -
you're not gonna get any money out of us". Hmmmmm. Well, not being
prepared for reaction I said that I'd give it a few more goes,
twiddle around at my end and then 'phone them back tomorrow - I
was hoping that, as the time was nearing 6pm (closing time for the

shop) the guy I was talking to had had a bad day and wanted to get
home for a cup of tea.

Putting the 'phone down I did have a couple of other little
attempts at getting the game to run, but I had lost all hope of
actually getting past the introduction. The next morning I 'phoned
the shop again and I hoped that I would get the rather meek women
I had spoken to when ordering the 'phone - I was sure that she'd
appreciate my problem more than the abrasive, patronising bloke I
had spoken to the previous day. Not my luck - the 'phone was
answered by my old patronising friend and he didn't sound any
happier - just completely indifferent. I re-introduced myself,
explained the problem (again) and started spouting everything I
knew about consumer rights that would have clinched me a full
refund straight away.

But all this was to no avail. On and on went the conversation
finally degrading to him calling my computer various names
(honest!) and the only way I was going to get anything out of the
game was to buy a better computer (maybe one like his?) and just
shut the *"œ%*^%$ up. Coughing politely I continued with my
consumer rights ploy, entering into my sarcastic patronising voice
that annoys anyone within a couple of seconds.

Thanks god for that voice, is all I say. The guy finally lost his
rag and said something along the lines of "Oh, look, I know what
to do, I've done it a few times before. Just post the damned game
back to us and you'll get something at the end of the day... Just
make sure you send it proof of posting - not recorded delivery,
just proof of posting". Not knowing what he had planned, but
knowing that I had a receipt for the game, I bundled the game up,
took it down the PO and sent it POP.

A week later I 'phoned the shop to see whether they had received
it. I was put onto my 'friend' and he said "Ah, Mr Judge, no it
doesn't seem to have arrived. It's obviously been lost in the
post. You DID send it POP, didn't you? Good, write off to the
address on the back and you'll get some money - they'll ask us to
fill in a form, but there should be no problems".

Hmmmmmn, thought I, are there some dodgy dealings going on here?
Is this shop trying to fiddle the PO? Well, I wasn't going to say
anything, and I did want my money, so I got in touch with the PO
and a couple of weeks later a cheque for œ25 came - I was still œ5
down (as well as numerous 'phone calls and postage) but I was
content to leave it there.

Now, the question I ask you is should I have been entitled to a
full refund, with no questions asked? Yes, the game did work on
someone else's system - but not on mine. That is beside the point
- if you bought an item of clothing that was too small you'd
expect a refund - you wouldn't ask a friend to wear it when you
wanted to look good, would you?

A computer game is a consumer item and, as a consumer, I expect to
have the same rights when buying a game as I would buying a
toaster. If there are any incompatibilities with my system that
makes it unusable then I'd expect to have a cheque winging its way
to me when the shop had received it back from me.  This doesn't
seem to be the case, though.  There are a few mail order firms
that run a no-questions asked service (both Special Reserve and
Silica have been very good in this department) but most other
places I've been to (or have heard about) just don't do it and
getting a refund from them is like getting blood from a stone -
harder in some cases.

A truly bad example I saw only the other day was by an
international mail order firm whose catalogue I get through the
post on a regular basis. They offer a wide range of computer and
office accessories and supplies from staples through to fully
working computer systems as well as everything you'd need to build
your own, so I receive the catalogue just in case I ever need an
obscure item of kit. Anyway, they have just started selling
software and, in the smallest of small writing at the back of the
100+ page catalogue, give a disclaimer that they will only provide
a refund if they receive the piece of software back, within a
week, still in its polythene wrapping - the customer is expected
to check compatibility on the side of the box and any opened boxes
will have voided the chance to receive a refund. To me this seems
ludicrous (hey - can't take the shirt out of its wrapping, let's
guess whether it fits the shoulders...) - I can understand that
the majority of software they are selling are Windows applications
(so as long as you have the correct version of Windows and a fast
enough CPU you should be able to run it - any other problems would
be due to bugs) but for the couple of games they are offering,
well, what can I say?

I intend to look into this side of computing in greater detail
later on this year, just so I know where I stand and what I should
be entitled to without having to fiddle the PO or annoying the
sales assistant on the 'phone ever again. Has anyone else had
problems like this? Or is there a budding lawyer reading this
(yeah, sure!) who specialises in consumer complaint who can answer
my dilemma? Also what do you think we should be entitled to?
Should we have to forgo a LOT of statutory consumer rights just
because we want to buy the latest RPG and not pirate it from a
friend? Or should our hands be tied and our cheque books be
hijacked? Let us know what you think as I feel that with the
rising popularity of the PC, especially connected with games,

there will be a lot of problems like this cropping up over the
next few years.

Just bare this in mind - the services that I feel should be
offered by commercial shops are (in 95% of the cases) offered by
PD libraries.













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