Letters

@~Any letters sent to me that aren't marked 'not for publication'
@~and which deal with adventure-related matters will be
@~considered for inclusion, maybe being edited in the process.
@~Relevant e-mail messages will also be included, sender willing.
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@~First a disturbing (or should that be 'disturbed'?) letter ...

Dear SynTax Readers,

I am sending this letter to you as a warning, it is positive proof
that Sue is a really cold-hearted person, the evidence follows.

After ordering two games from Sue, the Second Pit and Oklib's
Revenge, I waited with anticipation for their arrival, then the
trouble started.

1. Due to Sue posting them in a flimsy envelope, both my dogs took
great delight in ripping said envelope and contents to bits. This
has led me to spend the last three weeks superglueing the games
discs back together again, and a vet's bill for removing envelope
from the dogs' stomachs.

2. There was no warning on the first plastic bag/container holding
The Second Pit so I thought that it would be perfectly safe to
keep my canary in it, while cleaning out its cage, so that it
could not escape, I sealed the said bag, with canary inside, and
continued with task. When I returned some minutes later my canary
was dead, even banging it on the fridge did not help. Therefore
while burying the bird in the garden next to Felix, my old cat who
died when the Grue visited last year and felt like a snack, I
reasoned that the bag should either have holes in it, OR A WARNING
ON THE BAG.

3. Still trusting Sue, I reasoned that she must have sent the
first game in a faulty container, so did not worry at all, when
Napoleon, my pet hamster, made a nest in the Oklib's Revenge
bag. As it was quite cold that night and I did not want Napoleon
to catch a cold, I closed the top of the bag before turning in for
the night. Yes dear readers you guessed right, in the morning all
the bag contained was a stiff hammy, so again WHERE WAS THE
WARNING ON THE BAG?

4. To anyone who has these games, please do not follow Sue's
instructions on installing them if you don't want them on drive C:
as no allowance was made to install them on a different drive D:
or E: for example.

When I have managed to work out how to install these games I will
write again, I just hope they are worth all the heartache and
trouble they have caused me so far.

This letter has not been signed because I have good reason for
believing Sue is collecting my letters and forms to hold against
me at a later date, but don't worry fellow readers, I will be
back.

The Phantom

P. S.  Sue, I am not paying the ransom demanded not to have my
last letter sent to the local insane asylum, mainly because I
cannot afford 3 shillings and sixpence. Anyway it's quite nice
there.

@~Eek! Anyone like to guess who 'the Phantom' is? All I will say
@~is I have a stack of evidence against this loony and the pile
@~of papers is getting higher all the time :) ... Sue
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@~Next some advice on dodgy software salesmen from
From John Nicholls, Birmingham

I read with some distaste the letter from Vic Horsley about his
adventures with Buccaneer PC.

I had a similar experience some years ago and found that the
solution was to complain to the Customer Relations
Department of the GPO.


Box numbers are given by the PO as a convenience, and not as
a device to hide behind, and if the advertiser declines to give
his true address to a customer, then the Post Office most
certainly will. They may also withdraw the Box No service from
the advertiser if several complaints are made.

Any main Post Office will supply the address of the Customer
Relations Dept., and may even handle the complaint
themselves.

@~I'll let you know if Vic gets any satisfaction from Buccaneer PC
@~... Sue
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@~Next, Greg Lord was enquiring about sources for Ultima VII in
@~the last issue so here is part of an email from:

Bill Commons, Margate

I have just finished reading the latest SynTax. I thought that I
would tell you that a company in Basildon, Software First, tel
01268 531222 has several old games in their lists. I have just
bought Ultima 6, Betrayal at Krondor, Shadowcaster and System
Shock. They also have the Complete Ultima 7 CD which Greg Lord is
asking for in SynTax. He doesn't give a phone number so perhaps you
can let him know? All the above are on Budget release. I also
bought Daggerfall.

@~Games are coming out much quicker on budget than they used to,
@~though one that was very slow being released that was was Full
@~Throttle - I think it IS now out on budget. I recently picked up
@~Daggerfall at a computer fair - excellent ... Sue
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@~Last issue I mentioned that one SynTax reader had stopped taking
@~the magazine because he was now on the Internet. Here is a
@~comment from:
Steve McLaren, Margate

It is a shame that someone can drop SynTax just because they can
get all the info on the Internet. I do hope no-one else gets a
silly idea like this. I would not like SynTax to be an item of the
past. I will still be subscribing to SynTax as long as you, Sue,
can still produce such a good adventuring mag. I for one will not
be going on line. I have been watching the Computer Channel on
Sky, it has all different aspects of computing including the Net,
which one guy is so hooked on he runs up quite a big phone bill.

@~Easily done, I haven't had my first one since going onto MSN.
@~Thanks to Steve and everyone else who made similar comments
@~about SynTax Vs. the Net. I think there is room for both as each
@~has its own way of working and, hopefully, can compliment each
@~other.
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@~Just before Christmas, I had another letter from that loo...
@~character ... the Phantom!

Dear Syntax Readers,

Here I am again, no don't groan it's for your own good, firstly, I
would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas, but I won't. If I
have to work why should you all enjoy yourselves.

Talking of Christmas it must be time for Sue to do her nets, (dry
them next time Sue and the family might not go down with flu) this
is an in joke folks, but imagine Sue going red as you read,
though; this part of the letter won't reach you anyway, editor's
rights you know.

@~Oh, do I have rights??? (hehe)

Now for the nearly serious bit. Win95 is terrible, it's caused
more problems than any other software I've ever used, except Anvil
of Dawn plus all 21 patches. The only reason that it has been left
on my system is because it seems that a lot more games are coming
out now just for Win95, and if I want to play these adventures and
RPGs then it must stay.

Qemm 8 is excellent, I am running Win 3. 1, Win95, and DOS 6.22
on my system and don't get any memory errors at all, the earlier




Qemm sometimes gave errors that didn't exist because it was not
compatible with some types of games, but they seem to have fixed
that {short pause here while I reboot after a silly memory problem
crashed the system}.

Help a Grue at Christmas, please send him a card, not because he
likes the cards, but because he can then eat the postman, that
delivers it.

If you read my first letter you know the problems I'm having with
The Second Pit, but as promised this is what's happened so
far; after dying 5 times; I still cannot read the book that's part
of the room; I ripped the head off of my sister's doll, this is
not a good idea as she has now put me in the chest and is sitting
on the lid. Sue I think you've made this game much too hard, still
I can always ask James for help, or better still his mum, she's
always more help anyway.

The warden saying I must go now so that's it for this letter, will
write again, when I'm allowed sharp things like pencils again.

Merry Christmas,

The Phantom.

P.S.  Sue putting the blackmail money up again is really unfair,
you know that 4 shillings and ninepence is much too much.

@~I'm saving up for a new straitjacket for him! ... Sue
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@~Now some advice from:
Don Burley, Grimsby

...Two other points - [in the last issue of SynTax] you mentioned
a 24 hour computer advice service - I think you should tell
everyone this is a premium rate number and they are expensive?!
I do realise the people running the computer advice service need
to be paid for their services but I have tried premium rate
numbers (mainly for racing information) and believe me they really
do run away with the cash!

@~Yes, Jean Childs also mentioned that, sorry I didn't make it
@~clear; a lot of game helplines also use premium rate phone
@~lines ... Sue

The other, someone, cannot find the reference at the moment,
refers to playing games through Windows 3.1 (not 95). I found for
the first time last week (tho you may know of it) that there is a
shareware program (UK registration about œ15) that runs DOS games
through Windows 3.1, Gorin Software's Powergamer - Neil Gorin, 4
Rookwood Drive, Stevenage, Herts, SG2 8PJ. I have a shareware
version of the program but I have not yet tried it so cannot
comment on its performance.

@~Hmm, don't know that program. Please let us know how it works
@~when you try it, Don ... Sue

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