SAM'S UN-EXCELLENT ADVENTURE A Spectrum Text Adventure from Zenobi Software Author: Ian Osborne Review by Bev Truter on PC (under Spectrum emulation) Sue sent this Zenobi game to me for review, so I've no idea how much it would cost if you ordered it direct from Zenobi - no details on price were mentioned on the disk. @~œ2.99 ... Sue Minimum requirements: A 286 PC (a 386 makes it easier), with a hard drive and colour monitor. Also available on disk for the Amiga and ST, played under Spectrum emulation. The shareware version of the Z80 emulator necessary to run the game is provided on the same disk. Well, the title of this little game sums it all up quite nicely - it is indeed a very unexcellent adventure. In it you play the part of SAM, the little robot who is the logo of SAMCO, which I gather is a company owned/run by ALAN MILES and COLIN JORDAN - the two (real) people forming an integral part of the action in SUA. (I don't think the word `plot' is appropriate for this game). Never having been a Spectrum owner or games player, I can only assume that the constant references to CRASH magazine, the SAM logo (of the SAMCO organisation) and ALAN and COLIN means that every Spectrum owner knows who/what they are, and would be reduced to muted guffaws of admiring merriment at their frequent mention in this game. The setting for SUA is the offices of SAMCO, where you (as Sam) are attempting to retrieve a computer plug you "borrowed" from Colin's office to fix Miles' toaster. The game has well under 20 locations (I'm guessing here - never persevered to the end) and you have about 60-80 moves in which to retrieve the borrowed plug before an irate Colin arrives back at the SAMCO building and tears you apart circuit from circuit when he discovers what you've done to his computer. Yes, this game IS as boring as it sounds, and compounding the boredom is the sad fact that even with the apparently newer version of the Z80 emulator, which runs the game at 104% of the original Spectrum speed, the typing in of your commands still has to be kept at a fairly snail-like pace. Although quite well-written, the text is uncomfortably large and blurry, with directions available for movement highlighted in lurid red - very squint-inducing. An attempt at cuteness is the design of the cursor to resemble Sam the robot/logo; but I'm only guessing, as it actually looked more like a squashed flying saucer. The introduction mentions that you should examine Sam to get a clue which could prove useful in the game, and doing so reveals that: a) You have springs (underlined) for arms and legs; and b) that, as countless CRASH readers have pointed out, you have no willie (exclamation mark). Since the parser doesn't understand the word `jump' in any form, and you can't use your hands or arms to unlock doors or unscrew screws, I could only conclude that my/Sam's sad lack of male genitalia had to be the clue.... After flailing around for 1 hour through 9 locations, and finding an assortment of red herrings (literally, in one case) and some objects which seemed impossible to manipulate or deal with in any way known to man, woman, person or robot, I decided enough was enough. Two doors remained stubbornly locked despite it being fairly obvious how to open them, and I rapidly lost patience with the `try to guess the verb' game that a very limited parser and a restrictive verb/noun input results in. After repeatedly being destroyed by a furious COLIN after 50/60 (whatever) moves because I couldn't find the silly plug I'd borrowed and then lost (you'd think robots would have a better memory than that??); and finding no way to unlock doors, or achieve anything beyond picking up a few items, I admitted defeat and total loss of interest. You'd either have to be a dedicated fan of Spectrum games, or a close friend or relative of Colin and Miles to enjoy this one; if you're neither of the above then steer clear of Sam's Un-excellent Adventure, or most likely you'll be bored witless. Oh yes, as an afterthought, there's another one-location bonus game on this disk as well, called The Hospital. It's very reminiscent of an old AGT game called `Mop & Murder', where you are stuck in one location with various objects to move, pull, push, open, lift, search, etc. In Hospital there are two dead bodies, one a patient, the other a nurse, and you have to discover what killed them and find a way out of the room. This game isn't too bad - well, at any rate it's a slight improvement on Sam's Unexcellent Adventure, and should provide you with about an hour's worth of entertainment. So, to sum up then for the numerically-minded, I'd give Sam's Unexcellent Adventure an overall rating of 2/10 and The Hospital 2.5/10. Neither game making it worth your while to go hotfooting off to Zenobi Software, really. @~Contact Zenobi at 26 Spotland Tops, Cutgate, Rochdale, Lancs. @~OL12 7NX - o -