Disillusion - is it really necessary

                            or

                       This is what they call growing up

              An article by James G Johnston

I was wallowing in nostalgia one early morning (3.30 a.m.
approx.) recently. I had the earphones plugged into the hi-fi
listening to an American Blue Grass LP (mono) that I purchased 30
years ago. It was Pure Magic !!! A bit scratchy - yep! but who
cares. I was enjoying forgotten items like "The Nic Nack Song" and
"I worship the ground you walk on but you shouldn't have walked on
me" and other classics from the LP.

My mind went back and I remembered that at that time I invested in
a new tape recorder. It was the top of the range reel to reel
recorder with a Stereophonic microphone. I used to haunt the Folk
Scene and try to get permission to record the artists appearing. I
think that my basic Idea was that I would record the actual
performances at record quality level on my machine. I would then
give these recordings to the record manufacturers for production
and sale and in this way, I would enhance and promote the Folk and
Country music that I loved.

I made many recordings, including some artists who went on to be
stars and some who didn't. In the process I built a massive
collection of recording that no one but myself wanted.
Disillusionment!!!!!!!! As a further dent to my enthusiasm, my
professional career was taking up more and more of my time due to
promotions. The recorders, tapes and most of my records were
packed away upstairs, soon to be forgotten.

About 5 years ago, I was clearing out part of the Attic and came
across all this 'junk'.  I set up the machine and ran some of my
recordings. Shock!! I found that bad storage etc. had resulted in
'voice print-through' and other damage to the tapes. I was forced
to destroy them. My records (ancient and LPs) were still in order
and were stored away again, as were my two Beocord recorders. By
the time I was finished I was thoroughly disillusioned regarding
the time and money I had 'wasted' on this fruitless and
unrewarding hobby and was well rid of the 'useless junk'.

But the wheel turns and I found, recently, that I was listening
more and more to those old recordings that I had saved. Not only
the songs but also the memories attached to them [Like taking Matt
McGuin from a Fife Gig across to Dunoon to appear in a concert in
the Town Hall. Going into the local to find all the gang gathered
from 'all airts' to hear Matt. Performing, when we entered the
pub, were Billy Connolly and Tam Harvey, belting out their latest
creation. Suddenly it was time for Matt to go on the stage and the
pub emptied as we made our way to the Town Hall box office. After
the show, a quick fish supper, in your hand, and away on the road
back home.]

The point that I am trying to put across is that this has been a
part of my life, and is now part of my memories and the attempt to
justify the outlay on now useless equipment was the cause of the
disillusionment.

This problem is particularly relevant to all of us who have joined
the computer adventuring ranks in the early 80s. We bought ZX81s,
Spectrums, C64s, Dragons, etc, etc. As advances were made we
discarded the 'old' for 'new' like discarding old clothes. The
process of buy/discard has speeded up somewhat of late and we find
ourselves 'out of date' with last year's PC and are disillusioned
to find that 'it's no good now!'

The problem seems to me to boil down to:

(a) Are you chasing the biggest and dearest computer in the world?
One that is capable of doing much more that you are competent to
utilise or even imagine?

or

(b) Are you enjoying the hobby of adventuring whether it is played
by board game, book or computer?

If you can get that sorted out in your mind then you have a chance
of surviving to continue to enjoy your hobby. However, if you
continue along the update/dump spiral that computer sales people
advocate, then certainly, disillusionment will be a large part of
your life and hobby.

I can enjoy watching the massive 3D Graphic Adventures and
Shoot-em-ups played by my grandsons - with Surround Sound, sound
and vision special effects but if the truth be told, I prefer a
good book and the use of my own imagination. My imagination is
more than a match for any 3D game (with bells and whistles)
because unlike these creations, good as they are, my imagination
has no limits or bounds and the worlds created or visualised by
using your own imagination naturally give more personal
satisfaction.

I am not 'putting down' these creations, just pointing out that
they are limited external scenarios. The fact that you 'enjoy a
good shoot-out' especially when it results in the sprite being
changed from a monster attacking you to a mangled, bloody corpse
on the floor is because you know that it is not 'real'. I have
nothing against fictional plots or scenarios. I will even admit
that my favourite play is "The Enchanted Cottage". The various
films made of this piece of fiction never fail to rouse me as the
two main characters change dramatically as they move into and out
of the enchanted area. To see the beauty they saw in each other
and the physical defect that outsiders could see in them really
pulls at basic emotion ["To see ourselves as others see us" is a
famous phrase, but who really wants to? - - - It brings
disillusion and discontent]

Or put it another way:

If your computer equipment is doing the job that you want it to -
think very carefully about the benefits to be gained by upgrading
for cosmetic or egotistical reasons and you may, just, avoid that
disillusion. Do you but listen to that siren call of this all new,
all singing, all dancing miraculous upgrade for today and you will
surely experience all the delusion of chasing a more and more
costly mirage and never grow up and away from Never Never Land.

Just to put my position in all this very clearly, I have to
confess the following:-

My computer is not new but is a Pentium with Windows 95 and this
is where I hang my head. My main drive is 6 gig, I have a slave
drive, 6 gig, fitted in a removable drawer (so that I can have
more of them), CD Drive. A Zip Drive with 100 meg discs attached,
and two floppy drives 3 1/2" and 5 1/4". I will not mention Modem,
3D sound card, Flatbed scanner, Colour printer, etc, etc, etc.

But then, unlike Peter Pan, I never grew up !!!!







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