Borg Jokes - part 1

           Supplied from the Net by Alex van Kaam

This is a collection of Borg jokes, collected from some Usenet
postings and many, many signatures of Star Trek fans. Thanks to
you all!

I am Pentium of Borg. Arithmetic is irrelevant. Division is
futile.  You WILL be approximated.

I am Forest Gump of the Borg. Futile is as futile does.
Assimilation is like a box of chocolates.

We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. But
we're not home right now, so leave a message after the tone and
we'll assimilate you later... (beep)

I am Fudd of Bowg. Wesistance is wusewess. Pwepawe to be
Assimiwated.

I am Rhett Butler of Borg. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn
whether or not you are assimilated.

We are Visual Basic of Borg.
If you "assimilated" then
  you = "assimilated"
end if

My name is Borg - James Borg - license to assimilate.

I am C-3PO of Borg. I am capable of over six million different
forms of assimilation.

I am McCoy of Borg. He's assimilated, Jim!

I am Bashir of Borg. Prepare to be... did anyone ever tell you
that you have beautiful eyes?

I am Beldar of Borg. Time to assimilate mass quantities.

I am Troi of Borg. I sense that you will resist assimilation. But
I suggest you not resist. It is futile.

I am Arnold Schwartzenegger of Borg. You will be assi... uh,
assim..., oh, you will be terminated!

I am Worf of Borg. No need to assimilate, I'll just crush you.

I am Julius Caesar of Borg. Veni, vidi, assimilavi.

I am Spot of Borg. You will be iguanas. Resistance is futile.

We are the Borg. Resistance = voltage / current.

I am John Lennon of Borg. Imagine all the people... assimilated.

I am Porky Pig of Borg. Prepare to be as... assa... assim... I'm
taking over.

I am Duncan McBorg of the Clan McBorg. There can be only one
(collective). Prepare to be decapitated.

I am Dan Quayle of Borg, You're speeling is irrellevant.

Ferengi-Borg: Insert Coin for assimilation...

I am George Bush of Borg. READ MY LIPS - NO NEW ASSIMILATIONS!

I am Rambo of Borg. Resistance is the disease. We are the cure.

Borg, James Borg. Vodka martini, Gin is irrelevant.

I am Kosh of Borg. You have always been assimilated.

I am Microsoft of Borg. Resistance izkx GPF 0x5654 8820
Application RESIST.EXE has performed an illegal operation and will
be shut down.

I am Robocop of Borg. I wonder if I am already assimilated.

I am Shakespeare 'o Borg. Thou art assimilated, my good man. Ye
shall not resist, for that is futile.

The Borg assimilated my race, and all I got was this lousy
T-Shirt.

I am Garfield of Borg. John is irrelevant, Odie is STUPID!

I am Spock of Borg. The needs of the ONE outweigh the needs of the
many.

I am Butt-Head of Borg. You will be...uhhhhh... It says ASS! This
is cool.

I am William Shatner of Borg... and this is... Assimilation 911!

I am Piller of Borg. Consistency is futile. Continuity is
irrelevant.

I am Alanis of Borg. Isn't it robotic? Don't you think?

I am Dr. Smith of Borg. Resistance is futile, you bubble-headed
booby!

I am Sinatra of Borg. Start spreading the news. We're assimilating
today. You will be a part of it: the Borg, the Borg.

I am Pythagoras of Borg. Distance is irrelevant.

I am Yoda of Borg. Assimilate or do not assimilate. There is no
'try!'

I am Quark of Borg. You will be assimilated. But with the right
amount of gold pressed latinum, I can overlook your resistance.

I am Cobain of Borg. Here we are now, assimilated us.

I am Deter of Borg. Now is the time on Sprockets when we
assimilate.

I am Slartibartfast of Borg, but my name is irrelevant.

I am JFK of Borg. Ask not what the collective can do for you, but
what you can do for the collective.

I am Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated, but WAIT! There's
MORE!

I am Barclay of Borg. I live for a simulation!

I am Madonna of Borg: Justify my assimilation! ::pant::pant::

I am Det. Francisco of Borg. Resistance is futile. Prepare to be
assassinated. Matt - "Uh... that's 'assimilate', George."

I am Shatner of Borg. *You*...Will...Be...Assimilated!

I am Captain Jellico of Borg. You will be assimilated. But first,
get that fish out of my ready room.

I am Elmer Fudd of Borg. Be vewy, vewy quiet... I'm assimiwating
wabbits. Heh heh heh heh heh.

I am Troi of Borg. Your chocolate will be assimilated.

I am Taz of Borg: RGGL FXZZ PTTHT!!!

I am Superman of Borg. You will be assim -- Wait a minute, I'm
dead.

I am Heisenborg. You will probably be assimilated.

I am Dirty Harry of Borg. Go ahead, resist us. Make my day.

I am Telecom of Borg. Connection is irrelevant. Modem will be
assim +++ NO CARRIER

@~More Borg "I am's" next issue
                              - o -