CONGRATULATIONS!
  A text adventure by Frederick Hirsch, part of Disk 1289

                    Review by Bev Truter

Congratulations! was yet another entry in the 1997 competition on
the Net that never made it to the top 24. It is another *very*
short game consisting of 7 locations and 5 fairly simple puzzles,
and it is easily finishable in about 20 minutes. The introduction
to Congrats. reveals that you are a brand new parent and that for
many months now you've waited and planned for the birth of your
first child. The doctor hands you your baby, and as you gaze into
its little eyes you are overcome with the realization that you are
totally responsible for its well being. You must nurture this
baby, attend to its needs, and make sure it lives to be a
productive adult.

Hmmm. Quite a novel concept for a text game, and it's been
competently programmed and quite well written. The trouble is,
it's just so uninspiringly dull, and blindingly easy to complete.
There is a final score of 50, and each time you complete a task
successfully (like feeding the baby) 10 points are added to your
score. Typing SCORE gives you your current score plus ranking, and
you begin Congrats as "a new and exhausted parent". You must feed
your baby, change its diapers, put it to sleep, and then have a
rest yourself. The problem is, there's no real puzzle- solving in
Congrats - everything you need is just lying about the house, and
it's a case of toddling through the game, doing the obvious, and
Bingo--- you win the game with the maximum 50 points.

There were some indications that the author intended the game to
be longer and contain some extra puzzles, as in the bathroom
there's a dripping faucet which I assumed had to be fixed, a
grubby sink which had me looking for something to clean it with;
and a blender in the kitchen which can be turned on and off had me
furiously searching for some suitable food to cook and mush up
into baby-food. But all these bits and bobs are superfluous to
winning the game. There's also a book on rearing infants lying on
the sofa, and you can get some clues about what to do by typing
"read in book about...." if you are really stuck.

I had the feeling that Congrats. wasn't so much a game as a kind
of cathartic programming exercise for a new father (the author is
male), although I noticed you are scrupulously genderless in the
game, referred to only as "parent". Political correctness was also
carried a bit far, I think, in referring constantly to the baby as
"it".  Playing the role of the new parent, I was continually
reminded that I had an "it" instead of a he or she. Most
disconcerting!

With its very easy puzzles, minimal atmosphere and terse location
descriptions it was difficult to whip up any real liking for
Congratulations; although the sudden appearance of "Baby cries!"
popping up on the screen every now and then had me scuttling about
looking for the necessary objects to do the right thing, and keep
the poor blighter quiet. If you are really bored, and have a spare
15 minutes to kill, you might want to have a look at
Congratulations. But then again, perhaps not.

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