Net Humour for '65 A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a hand-written sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer" ------------------------------------------------------------------ Bill Gates' fortune in more comprehensible terms: Mr. Gates could give every American about $136.72 as of yesterday. He has nearly all the money to buy every house in Alaska, Wyoming and the two Dakotas. Spending $250,000 for a Lamborghini would cost Mr. Gates, in terms of percentage of his wealth, what a 63-cent purchase would set back the average American. Were Mr. Gates to spend the same portion of his net worth as the average U.S. household, then going to a movie with his wife would require $10.5 million -- not counting the babysitter. The value of Mr. Gates' time at the office -- he would actually lose money spending a few seconds to stop and pick up a $100 bill on the floor. If his fortune is converted to dollar bills, it would take 296 Boeing 747s to fly the pile from Seattle to New York. Arriving at New York, the bills would cover every square inch of Manhattan, not once, but six times. Mr. Gates lost $1.4 billion in the big market dip. Steve Jobs' net worth is less than half of that amount and we call him very rich. Mr. Gates has more dollars to his name than the universe has years, by a factor of three. Now you understand Mr. Gates' fortune better, or do you? - o -