Canonical List of Famous Last Words - Part 3 (Roleplaying : Fantasy and SF) Hundreds of brave characters lost their lives during thousands of roleplaying sessions leaving us their last words. We'll never forget them. Rest In Peace. collected by Oliver Rosenkranz (rossi@cs.tu-berlin.de or o.rosenkranz@estensis.de) Continued from Issue 85 0251-"This flickering torch light is playing tricks on my eyes. It almost seemed as though that chest moved by itself." 0252-"Demogorgon." 0253-"What's the duration of this Fly spell?" 0254-"I don't understand. It should be dead by now." 0255-"Finally! I thought that troll would never die." 0256-"If we look brave and fearless, they won't attack." 0257-"I'd feel better if we had some crampons. Oh, what the hell, let's go for it." 0258-"I wouldn't worry about the thieves' guild -- they don't have a clue who did it." 0259-"Aha! So you're the [killer/spy/vampire]!" 0260-"It doesn't look very fast; we can easily swim across." 0261-"While they're fighting the dragon, I sneak around behind him and examine his hoard." 0262-"I wish we had a 10 foot pole. Oh well." 0263-"Ha ha ha! Let's put bookworms in his spell research library." 0264-"I rolled a 20. How could that be a miss?" 0265-"I've got plenty of spells; I don't need to carry a weapon." 0266-"I'm heir to the crown. They wouldn't dare!" 0267-"Don't you understand? The odds will be even. If we can't see them, they can't see us." 0268-"Who's bringing up the rear?" 0269-"It's only one wight. The others are just ghouls." 0270-"But [longbows/match locks/nuclear weapons] haven't been invented yet..." 0271-"Look, I don't care what you think of her, or her "demonic smile." She's hot to trot. So, if you'll excuse us..." 0272-"I've got better things to do than run your petty errands, your highness." 0273-"What?! I thought you said fifTEEN kobolds." 0274-"It'll be a short ocean voyage. One week's worth of food and water will be enough." 0275-"I won't fall in; I just want a better look at what's down there." 0276-"Ochre jelly? Ok, everyone, break out the bread and the peanut butter." 0277-"Quit clowning around. Look, whichever one of you is doing that, it's not funny." 0278-"Hey! Where's my components?" 0279-"For some reason I had always imagined that bugbears were somewhat smaller." 0280-"A trap? That's exactly what we're supposed to expect. I think this DM is more imaginative than that." 0281-"After what we took, he won't be able to afford an assassin." 0282-"They're usually not aggressive. If we leave it alone, it'll leave us alone." 0283-"Wanna see my new spell?" 0284-"Something's wrong with my d20." 0285-"That was no healing potion! I'm gonna kill that swindler!" 0286-"Ha! That's the oldest trick in the book." 0287-"Hey, Bill, cast a Detect Invisibility, quick. Bill. Bill? Where's Bill?" 0288-"Cover me." 0289-"I think it's asleep." 0290-"Look at the size of those tracks!" 0291-"Can you make out this next rune? It looks like someone spilled coffee on this scroll." 0292-"..23..24..Well, that's the last of his arrows." 0293-"Watch this." 0294-"Well, if I remember correctly, it's AC 7, 3+1 HD, 1d8 damage. Hmm..." "I should defeat him around the 4th round and still have about 12.5 hit points left. Ok, let's rock!" 0295-"No problem! I'll just cast a ... whoops, I forgot. I'm just 2nd level, aren't I?" 0296-"Did you see that guy's head? I wonder what did this." 0297-"Damned be him who first cries, 'Hold, enough!'" 0298-"If you cut me down, I will only become more powerful." 0299-"Zoinks! I sure hope that's just Scooby behind me." 0300-"I ain't afraid of no ghost." 0301-"Geez, I'm kind of low on funds. Ok, I'll take 500 gp for the healing potion." 0302-"I bet it's just an illusion." 0303-"Well, at least I tried...?" 0304-"It's only an illusionary red dragon!" 0305-"I'll attempt to patch it up." {...finding a hole in the cargo bay of the orbital shuttle} 0306-"I'll cut the red wire." 0307-"Hey, I'll try to hide in shadows." {Room full of Shadows (kind of monster in AD&D)} 0308-a)"I cast a powerball." {inside an elevator} b)"I shoot him with my laser." {inside a crowded elevator} 0309-"I cast a hellblast." {at a gas station} 0310-"Let's blow open the airlock." 0311-"I jump from our car into theirs." 0312-"YOU are the UGLIEST guy I've ever seen." {to an 8 foot tall troll} 0313-"What do you mean 'the bullets are just bouncing off'!" 0314-"O.K. pal, take your best shot." 0315-"Let's rush them." 0316-"There's no way they'll ever find us." 0317-"What could possibly go wrong?" 0318-"Him? What is HE doing here? I thought we killed him!" 0319-"I throw a grenade at them." {in the middle of a weapons storehouse} 0320-"Guys, I'm out of ammo." 0321-"I tackle her." {She was a wolf shapeshifter in human form} 0322-"Dragon? What dragon?" 0323-"I shoot a missile at one of the Wasps." 0324-"Does anybody in the group have Doc Wagon?" 0325-"A juggernaut? What the hell's a juggernaut?" 0326-"Get him!" 0327-"I give him the finger..." 0328-"He has a threat rating of WHAT ?" 0329-"Guys, there's some giant bugs in the hallway." 0330-"Do you think it's a toxic spirit?" 0331-"What's with that weirdo with the teeth?" 0332-"I put my AK97 under my coat and go to the subway." 0333-"How many teeth does it have?" {character used to make chains of the teeth of his dead opponents} 0334-"'Brak'? That's a stupid name for a barbarian!" 0335-"Blue, no...wait, Yellow! Aaaaarghhhh" {to a bridgekeeper} 0336-"Shit, it's a minefield, leggit !!!" 0337-"Call me Kregor the Undying!" 0338-"Let's split." 0339-"They will flee in terror from my " 0340-"Feel like surrendering ?" 0341-"Give you my T.O.&E ?! Figure it out yourself..." 0342-"It's only infantry." 0343- while rolling dices "Please God, not an ammo explosion..." 0344-"Stupid fool. Tried to scare me by firing LRMs at my feet. I charge right at him." {character standing in a minefield} 0345-"Sure you can use the LRM Carrier platoon in this scenario ." 0346-"Airstrike? Sure.....But I get one too." 0347-"I'll hide my ship near the planet's ring?" {which is where several hundred nuclear missile-equipped automated battlesats were hidden} 0348-"That's an interesting headband you're wearing pilot Smith." {kamikaze headband} 0349-"I'm sure reinforcements will get here on time. They promised." 0350-"Say, what's that red dot on your forehead?" {laser sight} 0351-"I'm a vampire. No mortal can kill me." 0352-"What a stupid 'bot." {It was a hunter-killer drone} 0353-"Jamming at full power, they'll never scan through that!!" {enemy used anti-radiation missiles} 0354-"What kind of idiot would set boobytraps in his own home?" 0355-"No, I wasn't reading the module. I was just looking at the pictures." 0356-"Black Ice in Mom and Pop's Grocery?!" {front for money launderers} 0357-"Funny, doesn't *look* like a cyberpsycho...." {but it was one} 0358-"Corporate geek, huh? I throw my beer on his fancy suit!" {Arasaka exec with bodyguards nearby} 0359-"No security force is *that* fast responding." 0360-"I have a very bad feeling about this." 0361-"I'm sure they didn't trace me." 0362-"I throw the grenade..." (Onto a proch less than ten feet away) 0363-"We'll let him fire the mortar, he's not too good with a gun." 0364-"Um... I charge the machine gun nest." 0365-"I think I'll rob that place." 0366-"Naah. He's the DM, he never kills PCs." 0367-"I turn the red gem so that the little carving points right at the one on the wall above it. Then I rotate the ..." 0368-"No, you idiot, they can't hear us crawling around out here!" {yelled to another PC} 0369-"So they have a tank...big deal! I have an M-16!!! I can kill it." 0370-"What do you mean they threw it back ?" 0371-"There is only two left..." 0372-"No, sir. We're gonna protect this fire base. They won't get past us... ...Arc Light ?!?! What do you mean the B-52s are on their way ???" {after being ordered to evacuate a camp that will be attacked in four hours} 0373-"Switch to 2nd Edition? Okay, what the hell..." 0374-"Do something, SCHMUCK !" 0375-"Hey, wow, something that really DOES 'go bump in the night' !" 0376-"One of these must be the right one...just start pushing buttons at random, we'll hit it." 0377-"In my present mood I could cast 'Speak with Dead' and talk to myself." 0378-"Oh, that's just a flesh wound." "Ach, is doch nur 'ne Fleischwunde..." {in German} 0379-DM: "You know you're 6' high and sitting on a 3' high horse in a saddle designed to keep you from falling. Now you're charging at full speed into a 7' high cave. What are you going to do ?" PC: "Hit my head on the cave roof ?!" {He took a *lot* of damage...} 0380-"I just HAVE to know what that magic trap(/item) does." 0381-"Oh, that bat's not much of a problem." {playing ULTIMA Underworld} 0382-"Let me have this stupid skeleton with my two-handed sword." 0383-"I tell the guard to go f**k himself, but I say it in a nice way." 0384-"I wish all these bloody things were dead." {spoken by a PC wearing a ring of wishes (he didn't know about), the entire party was wounded so they died like two of ten demons they were fighting.} 0385-"You are on my side, aren't you ?!" 0386-"Open that door, slut!" {said by PC to another PC(femalefighter), she cuts him in two after that} 0387-NPC: "Surrender !" PC1: "Don't shoot. I give up, but let this guy(PC2) go, I took him as a hostage..." NPC: "Okay, okay, but first of all drop all your weapons!" {said to PC1} PC2: {taking out his Heavy Autopistol} "Shall I drop my weapon, too ???" 0388-"Computer, I'd like to register my mutation... It's Machine Empathy." 0389-"Sacrifice...?" 0390-"My Skill? ... Vehicle Operations... Flybot...! ... Oh shit!" 0391-"I'll try to fix it." 0392-"I step back as far as I can." {In an elevator} 0393-"I try to talk to the blob." 0394-"A Communist sticker on the Warbot? ... I'll shoot it off." 0395-"I'll put my head in, and see what's inside." 0396-PC1: "So... who knows how to drive?" {no-one knew but they didn't care...} 0397-"You mean this suit is nuclear powered? Get me outta here! ... Guys?" 0398-PC: "Citizen Marks-R reporting treasonous activity in a corridor." "What colour corridor is that, citizen?" {computer} "The corridor? Umm...It's Blue." 0399-"It has an ejector seat? I pull the lever." {in a helicopter- like Flybot} 0400-"Beeping? O.K. I put it back in my holster." More next issue - o -