Canonical List of Famous Last Words - part 4

Hundreds of brave characters lost their lives during 
thousands of roleplaying sessions leaving us their last words. 
We'll never forget them. Rest In Peace.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS  1706 items	last change: 07-27-00

            collected by Oliver Rosenkranz
rossi@cs.tu-berlin.de   or   o.rosenkranz@estensis.de)

Continued from last issue

0401-"I'll hold my breath and run through the gas."

0402-"I'd better carry the explosives, I've got demolition skill."

0403-"Oh shit... I'll try to teleport again."

0404-"Umm... Do I have a gas mask?"

0405-"I knock at that door."

0406-"Save vs spell ? Why ? Doesn't matter! I've got a save on 
a 4."
{said it rolled his dice and was disintegrated on a roll of 3}

0407-"I try to resurrect him with this rod."

0408-"Was that rune inscribed on the cage important ?"

0409-"Want some help ?" {said by an magic apprentice}

0410-"Quick !! How does one UNSUMMON a demon lord ?"

0411-"I wonder what this wand does ?" {waving it around}

0412-"Remember that demon that you HAD imprisoned down in 
the cellar ?  Well..."

0413-"I thought lighting the candles around the pentagram was 
YOUR job."

0414-"I finally shot that owl that's been following you around !"

0415-"By the way, what's the reverse of "summon"?"

0416-"That fire wand only had 25 charges left on it ?!"

0417-"How does one control something once it gets out of the 
pentagram ?"

0418-"The warding circle for this demon wasn't continuous 
before, was it ?"

0419-a) "Let's see what'll happen when I mix these two potions 
together ?"
     b) "I mix the potions and drink."
     c) "I'll mix these potions and see if I can't get a better one..."

0420-"So this wand fires a fireball if I point it at something and 
say 'Braxat'?"
     { Boom !!!!!! }

0421-"You wouldn't happen to have a banishment spell 
memorized...?"

0422-"Hey, I bet I can do that better than you can!"

0423-"Oh, that component was worth THAT much ?"

0424-"But this was supposed to be foolproof!"

0425-"I thought you said "Cone of Cold" not "Coin of Gold"!"

0426-"What kind of glue do you use to fix a DragonOrb ?"

0427-"Master, I kind of forgot to feed your familiar." {never seen 
again}

0428-"What's in this bottle ?" * POP * "Uhh... oh-oh..."

0429-"Sorry about that, Master. I promise I won't wave your 
wand around again... Hmm...what's this frog doing here ?"

0430-"Is this scroll pronounced 'HAStur HAStur' or 'HasTUR 
HasTUR' ?"

0431-"Hey, where did I put the top to this Decanter of Endless 
Water ?"

0432-Master: "Hey, where is my staff of power, you know, the 
one with the rune on it ???"
Apprentice: "Was that your Staff of Power ? That end table in 
the den at home needed a new leg and you TOLD me to fix it ..."

0433-"Okay, I put the fire resistance potions in the red bottles, 
and the cold resistance potions in the blue.  Or was it the other 
way around ??"

0434-"I thought this spell required a 5-sided star..."

0435-"Master, why was this mirror lying face down on the table 
?? Master ??? Gee, where'd he go ? {scratches head}

0436-"We are all out of candles, so I used lanterns to surround 
the pentacle..."

0437-Apprentice: "Well, Master, I finally managed to learn the 
enlarge spell. Now, could you please tell me how one gets rid 
of a 50' big rat ?"

0438-Apprentice: "Excuse me sir but, theoretically, what would 
happen if someone summoned, oohhh, let's say a major demon from 
the 376 level of the Abyss ?"

0439-"With this body in my possession I shall now rule the 
world!!"

0440-"Why does the writing on that book disappear while I am 
reading it ?"

0441-"That nice wizard from across town paid me 2000gp to 
deliver this box to you...  Me thinks -- It must be some 
kind of clock !"

0442-"Let me control this steering-wheel now."

0443-PC hires NPC to be a spy; PC is in contact with NPC via 
walkie-talkie :
NPC: "I see it coming...aaargllhhhh" {cough}
PC : "What do you mean 'aaargllhhhh'? Hey man, I've paid 
for this."

0444-DM: "All of you successfully hit the dragon. It doesn't do 
anything."
PC: "You mean it doesn't even wake up?"
DM: "Suddenly, from behind you a *living* white dragon..."

0445-DM :"You crash through the door and find about 10 
goblins. They look surprised."
PC: "I say, 'Boo'!"

0446-"Come on, there's no such thing as a sword made of 
arsenic..."

0447-"It probably just wants to be friends."

0448-"Don't worry, what are the odds of rolling a 1 on a d20 ?"

0449-"It doesn't look like anyone is hiding in here."

0450- "Aw, come on. I'm sure he's forgotten about that last 
time."

0451-"I light the torch. What do you mean there is a sizzling 
sound ?"
     -* BOOM *-

0452-"I'll kill that sucker if it's the last thing I do." {It was...}

0453-"I hear a clic-clac? OK, I'll do a fast peek, like in Miami 
Vice. Those guys never got shot."

0454-"I bet this is not under current."

0455-"Come on, there are more good mutations than defected 
ones."

0456-"Who cares about f*king telepathics. Let's torch him."

0457-"I know how to handle a flame thrower."

0458-"I'm so tired. I'll sleep during my watch tonight. Nothing will 
happen."

0459-"I never fall asleep during guard jobs."

0460-"I want my reward."

0461-"I wake up quickly!"

0462-"Bugger! Failed my Intelligence test."

0463-"YES! A naked maiden in the woods, I just have to take a 
look." {...visit the nymph...}

0464-a) "Anything but a fumble now...."
     b) "What do you mean I fumbled ?"

0465-"I am not getting short-changed by this guy."

0466-"Let this Alien Queen come in. We'll roast her with our 
flamers...What do you mean 'no oxygen in the atmosphere' ?"

0467-"Ok, since I am going to die  anyway, I pull the pins off all 
the grenades on my body..."

0468-"You must be kidding! No?"

0469-"Are you sure this female goblin could do 6 points of 
damage with flail ?"
      {He had only 5 points.}

0470-"Don't worry! I still have a dagger attack."

0471-"Come on, do you really think they could throw a grenade 
through that small window ?!"

0472-"I don't care. I'm taking a bath right now."

0473-"Hey, wake up, they're coming... For Heaven's sake, 
WAKE UP!"

0474-"No retreat, no surrender!"

0475-"Hey scumbag, we'll do it my way, or I'm gonna have to kill 
you."

0476-"Turn !!!" {to bone golem}

0477-"Sure, give me 5 cards." {from the Deck of Many Things, 
being offered by a man in black robes}

0478-"Look, you're on top of a building, you behind cover, he is 
firing full auto. There is no way he can hit you."

0479-"While my elemental is attacking, I'll cast Magic Missile..."
     {to which the elemental attacked him}

0480-"What do you mean the skull is floating in the air?" 
{Demilich float}

0481-"Hey, she's female. Don't worry, this GM never has female 
villains."

0482-"My Character is being careful."

0483-"Isn't the rope double-secured up there!?"

0484-"A cute looking Koala with a WHAT!? THEY can't use 
Kalashnikovs, no!?"

0485-"That auto-targeting laser can't hit me! I have human 
reflexes."

0486-"Don't worry. This is just another empty room."

0487-"Hey man, they're just two lousy orcs..." {He never saw 
ogres before.}

0488-"This trap only hits one time. Trust me, I'm sure."

0489-"Elves don't die. They live eternally." {Not this one, of 
course}

0490-"Shit. Why did I slay the healer ?"

0491-"NOOO, don't touch anything inside..."* BOOM * {inside a 
laboratory}

0492-"I can banish this demon."

0493-GM: "You encounter some goblins."
     Party: "BANZAIIII" [charge]
     GM: "Hmm, didn't I say, they're 84."

0494-"Don't worry. This ship won't sink with this little water 
inside."

0495-"Come on you cowards. This guy is dead since hundreds 
of years."
     [kneeing near a skeleton]

0496-"Wait. Let me first look through the keyhole." [a trapped 
one]

0497-"What do you mean 'No reaction' ? I hit him again harder !"

0498-"Don't worry. With the amount of modifiers you've got 
there's no way he'll hit you."

0499-"He just fell off the 10th floor? I run over and catch him."

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