Canonical List of Famous Last Words - part 5

Hundreds of brave characters lost their lives during thousands of
roleplaying sessions leaving us their last words.  We'll never
forget them.  Rest In Peace.

Collected by Oliver Rosenkranz
rossi@cs.tu-berlin.de   or   o.rosenkranz@estensis.de)

Continued from last issue

0500-"Live and let live ? Yeah, right!"

0501-"I guess this has to be the location shown at the map.  But
what does this title 'M_NEFI__D'" mean?"
*BOOM* {bad luck it was a minefield}

0502-"Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix."

0503-a) "I assure you that this rope is robust enough to help you
in climbing down the canyon."
     b) "Don't worry, this rope will hold."

0504-"Let's take the shortcut, he can't see us from there."

0505-"What happens if you touch these two wires tog..."

0506-a) "Don't worry, it's not loaded."
     b) "Are you sure it's not loaded ?"

0507-"I want revenge !"

0508-"Wanna have more ?"

0509-"I've beaten you once and I can do it again."

0510-"No problem at all. I've a +20 modifier on Detect Traps."

0511-"What a big rock in the ceiling ahead. Is it fixed there ?"

0512-"Grimmtooth ? Not this one."

0513-"I'll take a quick bath in this pool." {full of acid}

0514-"I wake him up."

0515-"You wizard don't have the 'Analyze Potion' spell. Okay, I
will take a smell at it."

0516-"Let me take a closer look on the medusa..."

0517-"They are chaotic evil ? That's great, we're chaotic evil,
too. So there will be no problem with alignments."

0518-PL: "Hi, my name is Hurga the Immortal."
     DM: [smiling] "I hope you have an Hurga the Immortal II
worked out..."

0519-"I can kill everything. What is it ?"

0520-"I disbelieve the pit's existence and walk over it"

0521-"How about a riddle contest?" {facing a dragon}

0522-"They're only squirrels.  Come on, let's go." {hungry
ones}

0523-"17,000 miles?  That's ridiculous - I can't believe someone
would go that far only to kill me!"

0524-"This does have a safety catch, doesn't it?" {Nope.}

0525-"OK, I'll leap out, open the outer airlock door, and then
jump back inside and close the inner hatch...will I get a negative
to my DEX roll?"

0526-"This poor creature...I have the skill animal-care. I'll help
that horse."  {This 'horse' was a terrible mixture between a horse
and a lion.}

0527-"We should have no problems with the werewolves. I've got a
ring of healing." {lycanthrophy is hard to heal in Ravenloft}

0528-{in a dockside inn}
     PC1: "I call him a reptile's haemorrhoid" {to a dock-worker}
     GM : "Eight people stand up."
     PC1: "Can I get out the door ?"
     PC2: "I block the door."

0529-GM: "Don't let Odin see this ugly act."
     PC: "F*ck this damned Odin !"
     --kawoommm--

0530-"Ok, I'll run through his prismatic sphere, and attack."

0531-"A child could have done it!"

0532-"The odds were on *my* side."

0533-"Those fools are wasting ammunition!  They couldn't hit
the broad side of a barn at this distance..." *thud*

0534-"I'll cast darkness to get away from the bats."

0535-GM: "A kind of sizzling sound seems to come from a
small hole in the wall."
     PL: "I try to close it with a glutinous strip."
(inside an enterprise known for producing nerve gas for military
usage)

0536-"Don't worry. The thief's stupid. She won't know we're
using her for a Polish Mine Detector."

0537-PL: "I go and help the wizard."
     GM: "So you disturb the circle of diamond dust around the
pentacle."

0538-"We're no wimps to hide inside at night !"

0539-"What do you mean the townspeople are upset that we
killed the mayor?"

0540-GM: "Uh.  After killing one wolf the 99 others aren't really
too fazed."

0541-"What do you mean save versus Turn to Stone?"

0542-"Okay guys, what we need to do is ........ROLL REALLY
WELL !!!"

0543-PL: "How long am I going to be stunned for?"
     GM: {smiling} "...the rest of your life."

0544-"Hey, I know, that you're evil!" {after casting a detect-evil
on a red dragon}

0545-Priest: "Okay, God, you wanted it this way."

0546-"I don't know which kind of tree this one is, but we're
safe." (in a thunderstorm)

0547-"Die!!!" {But he had a ring of spell turning.}

0548-"Ok, I make friendship with this baby cardonian."

0549-"Don't shoot, it's me."

0550-"HA ! We killed all the hostages anyway!"

0551-"Don't worry, he is the recon expert..."

0552-"The window isn't open, so he couldn't have gotten out, he
must be still be in here." {absolutely right}

0553-"I reach my hand into his pocket. What do you mean it's a bag
of devouring ?"

0554-"I take a deep breath."

0555-"Pattern on the floor? What pattern ? Oh, that pattern!"
{Amber}

0556-"What do you mean my weapon was made by the
cheapest contractor?"

0557-(a demon shows up)
     PC: "Who did you ask for? Oh Shit!!!"

0558-"What does scroll of stupidity do? duh?"

0559-"What do you mean you got the spell wrong or backwards ?"

0560-"So how many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb ?"
     (PC to another PC while sitting in a Klingon bar)

0561-"So where is that local woman I'm supposed to wrestle ?"
{after drinkin' a fifth of vodka, was supposed to wrestle a polar
bear and fool around with a local girl, but he got it confused.}

0562-"I break the end of the oxygen cylinder off and aim it at
the enemy!"

0563-"So what is a mind flayer, oh that is a mind flayer..."

0564-"We're HOW close to a super nova ???"

0565-"Okay, who turned out the lights ?"

0566-"What do you mean the 'snow crash' hypercard, what does that
mean?"

0567-GM: "This is your last chance to get out from under this
girder."
     PL: "The others aren't helping, are they?"
     GM: "Nope."
     PL: "OK, I'll use my pyrokinesis on Lucky's nuclear reactor
     to blast it off..."

0568-"It's daytime... it's gotta be safe."

0569-"Let's all go in; he wouldn't kill the whole party at once."

0570-"Watch this and be envious!" {right before climbing up a ten
foot wall, falling down, putting himself in a coma, died later on
- bad luck }

0571-Dwarf: "Hey, elf, what does this message on the metal plaque
at the beginning of the tunnel say ?"
     Elf(smiling):"Walk in single file down the corridor, keeping
     to the left."
     Dwarf: "Okay, me first..."
     {Gnomish message - elf didn't know Gnomish}

0572-"Hey, this hole in the ceiling wasn't there the last time,
was it ?"
     {after that a purple worm came out of that hole}

0573-"A spell of ageing? Come on, I'm an Elf!!"

0574-"He doesn't look like a barbarian."

0575-DM: "You detect massive launches of missiles from the
surface heading toward the ship. You're in the path..."

0576-"What's it gonna do? Bleed on me ?" {about a badly wounded
Alien warrior the kind with acid for blood...}

0577-"I suppose a good death is better then bad roleplaying."

0578-{PC is facing a big dragon}
     GM: "You CAN run away."
     PC: "No, I can't."
     DM: "Your psychlim is moderate."
     PC: "No, it ain't."
     DM: "Yes, it is."
     PC: "Used to be, My overconfidence is much higher now."

0579-"The mithril arrowheads are mine! The elves OBVIOUSLY wanted
me to have them !"

0580-"Ok, I'll drink my self-made healing potion."

0581-"What do you mean I'm the only one who survived the first
combat round ?"
      {but he didn't decide to flee}

0582-"I put on the necklace I took from that skeleton."
{Necklace of Strangulation, removable only by wish spell or when
person is a skeleton}

0583-"What 10,000 gp I borrowed ?!" {said to a barbarian who
liked his gold}

0584-"I'm a wizard. I don't need to be able to swim. I will fly !"
{fumble}

0585-PC1: "Help me, I'm in deep trouble. Hey, Argan, it's your
turn, you owe a lot of money you borrowed."
     PC2(smiling): "Not any longer, I guess..."

0586-"I go back by myself to look at those pretty yellow flowers
I saw back there."{Yellow Musk Creeper}

0587-"I jump down into the river to see how deep it is."

0588-"Take the other end of this rope and we'll trip the dragon
as it runs through the doorway."

0589-"You?  A GOD?  Sure, right, then strike me down with
lightning!"

0590-"I could have sworn that statue didn't register when I did
detect magic."

0591-"Don't worry fellas, it's not a real dragon.  It's just a
skeleton of one."

0592-"Okay, let's see if I loaded this thing right."

0593-"Was that all ?"

0594-"Damn, I KNEW I'd forgotten something..."

0595-"Nothing ever happens on the first level of the dungeon!"

0596-"I didn't know there were rules for weapons breaking..."

0597-"Reload ? Nah, I've still got 5 shots in the mag."

0598- "Wiz, put the cat out !"

0599- PC1: "I guess this goblin came to taunt and lead us into
an ambush."
     PC2: "Yes, obviously. Hopefully there'll be more of them
there."  {there were}

More next issue


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