Canonical List of Famous Last Words - part 6

Hundreds of brave characters lost their lives during thousands of
roleplaying sessions leaving us their last words. We'll never
forget them.  Rest In Peace.

collected by Oliver Rosenkranz
rossi@cs.tu-berlin.de   or   o.rosenkranz@estensis.de)

Continued from last issue

0600-"I stroll past the thieves' guild."

0601-"Hey, there's dead things under here!"

0602-"Well, he's got the arrow point cocked against my temple, so
when he lets go of the drawstring, it should just stay there,
right?"

0603-"I try to outrun the cops."

0604-"They can't shoot us at this speed!"  {while driving away
at 35 mph}

0605-"What do you mean this is a one-way street?!"

0606-An ambitious example how to carry a live electrical wire
across a river:
     "I put the wire in my mouth and wade through the river."

0607-"How many times do I have to tell you: there's no ghosts
here!"

0608-"It's just a magic mouth, right?"

0609-"What was that demon's name. I think... ah, yes... it was-"

0610-"What do you mean there are five more town guard ?"

0611-"I should survive this."

0612-{after surrender of the White dragon}"I release it from my
entangle spell"

0613-"I jump after him." {On top of a tower, a evil wizard made
his escape by casting Jump}

0614-"I'll stay out here in the light."

0615-"They'll never expect it."

0616-"What do you mean, 'Let's try a frontal assault on those
archers'??"

0617-"What do you mean, `He panics, grabs me by the head and
throws me to the other side of the room'?!? This guy is supposed
to be a scared, shaken, mentally unbalanced nervous wreck!"

0618-Priest: "Are you telling me you are the chosen one?"
     PC :"Did I say that? No, no, you misunderstood me; I just
     wanted to say..."

0619-"I push him in the pit from behind..."

0620-"They're only trolls, I won't waste a fireball."

0621-"Remember my Helm of Brilliance saves at +4, so it only needs
..."
{helm failed to save, exploded and killed the whole party}

0622-"You mean I *wasn't* sleeping in my armour ?"

0623-"Thank God for the Computer!"
{In Paranoia, all religion has been deemed illegal - instant
termination}

0624-"Who's got a tinderbox?"  {nobody}

0625-"Mayhap, I should not have done that..."

0626-"Don't worry, they can't fire while cloaked."

0627-"Sensor scans show negative, captain."

0628-PC1: "Shields are down to 10%, captain."
     PC2: "Just one more photon torpedo, and he's history..."

0629-"Lower shields as a sign of peace !"

0630-"I'll take this hit like a man to save my action."

0631-"Cut life support to conserve energy."

0632-"Hah! That's six! You're empty, mister!"

0633-"Quick, there's an Ogre over there, hide the gold!"
{shouted}

0634-"Why aren't you recording our damage ?"

0635-{in an aircraft}
     PC1: "Blubber-blubber-gaaaaa." {failed SAN check}
     PC2: "Does anyone *else* have Piloting skill?"

0636-GM: "How many hit points did you say you have ?"
{shaking every dice he owns}

0637-"What do you mean the warranty ran out ?!"

0638-PL {to GM}:"I did not know you owned THAT many dice!"

0639-"What, I thought you had the toll money."

0640-"Sorry Fred, I did not see you behind me."

0641-PC1: "Quick, cast a fireball !!!"
     PC2: "I'm a bloody watermage..."

0642-PC1: "Only a idiot would stick his head out of that
window...Hey Mark, stick your head out of that window."
     PC2: "Okay."

0643-{PC in Imperial uniform meets many armed pirates}
     NPCs: "Who the hell are you..."
     PC :"I'm one of you, guys..er..joined last week."
     NPCs: "Then why do you wear that Imperial Officier's
     Uniform?"
     PC :"It's not a uniform....it's a sweater my mother knitted
     for me."

0644-a)"Don't worry, I never fumble."
     b)"Don't worry guys, I can't possibly fumble twice in a row."

0645-"Scared? Us? There's ten of us and one of him!
Chaaaaarge..."

0646-GM: "Okay, you managed to escape from the palace jail. Now
you're in the palace garden. What'll you do next ?"
     PC: "Hiding in this bush. They won't find me there."

0647-GM: "He wants a duty for passing."
     PC: "I pull his beard."{ 'He' was a large troll.}

0648-"Okay, Mr. Hal !"
{to Emperor Hal I., the almighty ruler of the large empire,
defender of humanity, ...etc}

0649-GM: "The doors are locked and the corridor is filling with
water from pipes high on the walls."
     PC: "I'll cut a hole in the ceiling with my monomolecular
     sword."
     GM:"Okay. The fire-sprinkler pipes which run through the
     ceiling start spraying water all over the place. There is
     also a high-voltage electrical cable conduit in the
     ceiling..."{grin}

0650-"I drop the thermal detonator and duck around the corner."

0651-"We don't negotiate with monsters, we kill them!"

0652-"Maybe I should make up a spare character, just in case."

0653-"I rolled so well on my force field, nothing can touch me."

0654-"Gee, if I had known what a failed bind spell would do I
never would have cast it on that Dark Young."

0655-"If you meant the giant elephant statue, why didn't you say
so?"

0656-"It always works in the movies."

0657-"You know, I'm actually starting to like this character."

0658-Priest(PC):"Hey, what's the name of this module ?"
     GM:"Death Of A Priest"

0659-"No problem at all. He is 6th level Elven Bladesinger
and we're only 5th level, but we're PCs."

0660-"A Sphinx Of Enigma ? Don't worry, she always asks for the
solution of the same riddle which I know."

0661-"The spell 'Know Alignment' says she's a Neutral Good Drow."

0662-PC1:"Go talk to it.  You're the one with the 18 Charisma."
     PC2:"Okay...Pardon me...Do you have any 'Grey Poupon'?"

0663-"A little Japanese kid ? He's called AKIRA ? I don't care..."

0664-"Power ! More Power!"

0665-GM:"The orc peels back the blanket, looks at you, and says
'Din-ner'."

0666-"What the hell is a 'Horror Check'? This ain't Cthulu..."

0667-"What do you bloody well mean it was a 'luck blade'?!  Do YOU
KNOW what I just wished for ?!"

0668-{PC (bard) to troll}
     "I can sing for you...please don't eat me."

0669-"Look out!  I'm coming to save you!"

0670-PC{bard}:"You're not going to believe this, but I sang this
song about the King of Cormyr and his mistress, and he was a bit
mad..."

0671-"Have you noticed that she gets this huge glow in her eyes
right before she's going to kill you?" {about GM}

0672-{Party meets a group of NPCs}
     PC1:"We come in peace."
     PC2:"...and leave in pieces."

0673-"Nah. She's done this to us before. It's just a blue dragon
with an illusion of four other heads."

0674-"I wonder what number comes before zero..." {about his life
points/wounds}

0675-PC:"It looks like a big worm ? How big ?"
     GM: smiling

0676-Bard-PC:"I'll make a nasty song up about this uncivilised
bastard."

0677-Bard-PC:"You..said...that...you...broke...my...flute ?
BANZAIIII !!!!"

0678-"It was only a dumb unicorn. Why's the ranger so upset ?"

0679-"The laws of probability say that I should be able to climb
this wall like that {snaps fingers}."

0680-PC:"Kill the troll."
     Troll:"I would prefer it if you would cease the
     hostilities..."
     {player died of shock}

0681-GM:"So you're trying to ride your pony on a swaying rope
bridge over a lava pit without the riding proficiency ?!"

0682-{female PC detects someone who behaves suspicious
(he is a killer sent to terminate her party!) in a bar. She
doesn't know whether he observes her or just find her attractive.
She walks up to him.} "Do you like a drink ?"

0683-"We surround them, fellows... hey...?"

0684-"I don't know if I'll make it through this round.  Maybe I
should have fled."

0685-"Does the spell really require ox blood?  Can I substitute
some other kind of blood ?"

0686-"We can stop and heal when we get there."

0687-"I'm still pretty sharp. I only had a few beers."

0688-"It's GUARANTEED against breakage!"

0689-"I have to. He insulted me. It's a matter of personal honor."

0690-"This one is hard to hit. No parry this round."

0691-"This is so stupid. I can't believe I'm going to die at the
hands of this little gnome."

0692-"I'll try again."

0693-"Am I still bleeding ?"

0694-"Good thing the GM forgot about my curse."

0695-{to GM}"You're shooting a ballista at 1st level PCs?!?"

0696-"Uh oh. How fast can I hack through this wooden ceiling with
my sword ?"
     {Wasn't _nearly_ fast enough, but nice idea.}

0697-"Don't worry. The Healers' Guild are all sworn pacifists."

0698-"No trouble, the mothership would have us teleported out of
this Section BEFORE the Genestealers will reach us."

0699-"I've just killed six Genestealers in Overwatch, I'll manage
it again."

To be continued








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