Computer Stupidities

As stated before (and proven many times over) the mere presence of
a computer can short circuit normally intelligent people's brains.
But sometimes it's just ridiculous.

Tech Support: "Ok, I can help you install the software. Would you
like me to do that?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "All right, can you insert the disk in the disk
drive please?"
Customer: "How?"
Tech Support: "Place the disk in the opening at the front of the
computer."
Customer: "Will I have to have my computer delivered before we
can do this?"
Tech Support: "Um yes, that might be an idea."

*

Isn't it amazing how people can forget even the simplest things
when they're sitting in front of a computer?

Tech Support: "Ok, click on 'Start,' click on 'Programs,' and then
click on 'MS-DOS Prompt.'"
Customer: "Right."
Tech Support: "Ok, you should now have a black screen."
Customer: "Uhm." (sound of hand covering mouthpiece)
"Cheryl, is this screen black??"

*

Customer: "I'm having a problem installing your software. I've
got a fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL', all it says
is 'Bad command or file name'."
Tech Support: "Ok, check the directory of the A: drive -- go to
A:\ and type 'dir'."
Customer reads off a list of file names, including
'INSTALL.EXE'.
Tech Support: "All right, the correct file is there. Type 'INSTALL'
again."
Customer: "Ok." (pause) "Still says 'Bad command or file
name'."
Tech Support: "Hmmm. The file's there in the correct place -- it
can't help but do something. Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-
A-L-L and hitting the Enter key?"
Customer: "Yes, let me try it again." (pause) "Nope, still 'Bad
command or file name'."
Tech Support: (now really confused) "Are you sure you're typing
I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?"
Customer: "Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck, so I'm
using the 'M' key...does that matter?"

*

One day a girl at school told me that her father's laptop had a
virus.

Me: "Well, did anyone put a disk in that might have had a virus
on it?"
Her: "No, all our disks are clean. But is it possible to get a virus
because I plugged it into a different plug than at our house?"

*

One day a customer brought his computer in, complaining about
a problem.

Customer: "My computer has been acting strange. I'm afraid it
might be a virus."
Tech Support: "Have you been downloading a lot of software?"
Customer: "Mostly I just download pictures. I think I may have
got it from there."
Tech Support: "Not likely. Where are you downloading pictures
from?"
Customer: "Different channels. Mostly from my favorite show on
NBC."
Puzzled, I looked at the back of his computer and discovered he
had a video capture card.
Tech Support: "You mean from your TV?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Probably not the source of any virus."
I checked his computer out, fixed his problem, and he left.
Needless to say the other techs and I had a good laugh about
that new NBC virus that was being broadcast to people with
video capture cards.













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