Canonical List of Famous Last Words - part 7

Hundreds of brave characters lost their lives during thousands of
roleplaying sessions leaving us their last words. We'll never
forget them.  Rest In Peace.

Continued from last issue

            collected by Oliver Rosenkranz
rossi@cs.tu-berlin.de   or   o.rosenkranz@estensis.de)

0700-"The inscription says 'Asmodeus was here.' Asmodeus... I
haven't heard that name before. Hey, magic-user, do you know who
Asmodeus is ?"

0701-"It's just a mirror. Right ?"

0702-"There are no demons in Second edition."

0703-"Dragon turtles can't breath underwater."

0704-"We're using spell fumbles ?!?"

0705-"Gygax modules aren't that killer..."

0706-"What do you mean I'm standing on a big X ?!"

0707-"I set fire to the stage."	{in an elven inn}

0708-"Gods don't exist. Here, I'll show you...Odin is a geek!
Odin is a geek!  Odin is a geek! ... See, nothing happened."

0709-PC :"No captain, there is no-one here, except for the
computer speaking."
     NPC:"What is it saying ?"
     PC :"9 ... 8 ... 7 ..."

0710-"What ? It looks exactly like me, except it's made out of
luminous blue energy ? It's an illusion.  Watch, I'll stick my
sword thru it!"

0711-"A red dragon? Aw, the DM wouldn't give us one of those until
we're really high level. I disbelieve."

0712-"Woah, I'm really lucky! A chest, no traps, no locks? You
gotta be kidding! I open the chest."

0713-DM:"You hear a click."
     PC:"I freeze !"
     {while standing on a pit}

0714-NPC:"I jump down the cliff." {VERY long way down}
     PC1:"I jump."
     PC2:"I leap and grab onto PC1."
     PC3:"Okay, I jump too."
     PC1:"Just before I hit, I'll activate my Feather Fall."
     PC3:"Your what ?"

0715-PC:"What do you mean the brontosaurus surprises us?
Where did it come from ?"
     GM:"Well, it was hiding behind the mountain."

0716-PC:{to NPC}"En garde."
     GM:"Touche."

0717-"Don't worry. I only fail to save on an ..."

0718-"You obviously don't know who you're dealing with."

0719-"Fireballs don't hurt me."

0720-{to DM}:"Let's talk about what we just saw...."

0721-{to hostile wizard}
"You thought we wouldn't survive that and come back to you, didn't
you ?"

0722-"I'm sure that no-one saw us."

0723-"Defend your life, you ugly worm."

0724-"This disease is no lethal one."

0725-"Where the hell did that assassin get a laser-guided triple-
barreled crossbow ?"

0726-"Fifty monsters ? Well, half of 'em are kobolds. We can take
'em!"

0727-PC:"There are HOW MANY GNOLLS in that courtyard ?"
     GM:"Well, about 200. Want to stop and count them?"

0728-"Well, I hit him twice. He's probably in bad shape."

0729-"What do you mean there's a shapechanging demon in the
party ?"

0730-"I'm a grey elf! I have lots of time!"

0731-"I parry the demon's two-handed sword with my stiletto !"

0732-PC1:"Why is there a moose staring into that bush over
there ?"  {enemy hiding there}
     PC2:"What the heck is a moose doing here ?"
     PC1:"Maybe the attacker turned himself into a moose!"
     PC2:"It's a shapechanging moose!"
     PC1:"I'll cast Charm Person on the moose."
     PC2:"I cast detect magic and look at the moose."
     DM :"You detect no magic on the moose."
     PC1:"It must be a non-detection moose!"
     PC2:"Yeah, a shape-changing non-detection moose!"

0733-NPC:"Beware the unspeakable one!"
     PC :"Oh, you mean Hastur ?"

0734-"Dwarves can't be vampires."

0735-a) "What do you mean there's no saving throw ?"
     b) "There has to be a saving throw!"

0736-"I'm stunned, huh ? Okay, I sit back and drool for a while."

0737-"What do you mean I'm his slave now ?"

0738-"I fly over to the pirate ship."
{the plate-clad warrior encountered a beholder's Anti-Magic Gaze}

0739-"Hey, the pyramid's glowing. I didn't think it could do that."

0740-"What do you mean the ship is sinking ?"
     {character disintegrated a hole in its bottom}

0741-"That gem must be worth a fortune! I'll grab it!" {a demon's
soul gem}

0742-"I'll follow him down the alleyway."

0743-"Stop screwing around with all this sneaky stuff!"
     {character rips window frame off building and climbs in}

0744-"Priests of Orcus aren't that bad, are they ?"

0745-"Cool! Crocodiles!"

0746-"We'll wait in ambush for them here !"
     {they were ambushed themselves}

0747-"I thought you silenced the guard!"

0748-"They have an acceleration of WHAT ?!"

0749-"Wait 'till I flick my bic."

0750-"Ah. Safety jackets are for pussies."

0751-"Don't worry. I've done this before."

0752-"Just see it as a proof for courage."

0753-"I take my missing leg that he just ripped off, and hit him
on the head."

0754-""Give me the cooler box or I'll have to get it myself."
{freezes to death}

0755-"I'll probably be faster then this four-headed monster."

0756-"I step through the darkness, what do I see ?"

0757-PC1:"Let's use a Silence spell."
     PC2:"No, we might need it later..."
     { -- knocking on the door and asking for trouble }

0758- {cave full of goblins}
     NPC (Goblin leader):"Who kills the most dwarves ?"
     PC1 (party elf):    "He gets 10 GP!"
     PC2 (party dwarf):  "Ok."
     {dwarf is slaying all the goblins}
     PC2 (dwarf):        "So, where is my 10 GP ?"
     PC1 (elf):          "No, you didn't understand... it was
     meant for the goblins..."

0759-"I was sitting here first."

0760-"You're a dead man, you hear me, a dead man!"

0761-"This is *my* table."  {in a tavern}

0762-GM:"Failed Strength Check ?! Okay, you try to cross the
fast-flowing river near the waterfall using a rope and you don't
manage to hold this rope.  So you go down the waterfall and begin
your last journey."
    PC:"But I only held the rope for doing so. I'm tied with it !"
    GM:"Snip."

0763-"There's nothing that could go wrong. I have a 96 percent
chance to be revived. Let's go on."

0764-"Runes of Protection ?! Never heard about ..."

0765-"What do you mean I'll be damned."

0766-"What are these three glowing red dots on your chest for?"

0767-"Where is that damn assassin?"

0768-"I'm *still* glowing when I wake up in the morning ???"

0769-GM:"So are you just going up into the Rope Trick then?"
PC:"Yeah, and these guys are going to hand me up the gold and I'll
stack it around and..."  ...poof...

0770-"Why does Norm the pirate have a stick with a skull on the
end?"

0771-"Sh*t, my sword isn't working!"

0772-GM:"You see a giant glowing emerald lying on the ocean floor,
in the midst of the shipwreck. It's bigger than your head and
pulsates with inner light."
     PC:"Cool! I pick it up!"

0773-"Say, I wonder why my detect magic isn't on any more--
urgck."
     {assassin disabled it...}

0774-GM:"You glimpse a shadowy figure on the next rooftop."
     PL:"Okay, I D-Door to the rooftop behind that one."

0775-"Look at this Neato-Keen stick I found! It's got a skull on
the end and...  hey, where'd everybody go?"

0776-"Bloody Peasant."

0777-GM:"Nimbus-man tells you to stop following him, puts you
down, and turns around to leave."
     PC:"OK, I wait until he goes around the corner, then I follow
him."

0778-"Man, this water feels really funny."

0779-"I broke my rapier parrying the giant ? That doesn't matter,
I have a second one with me anytime."

0780-"I hope my defensive spells are still working."

0781-"The air is solidifying? Um, I start digging."

0782-"Pirate Lords are wimps."

0783-"I've been impaled to the floor with a lance ? Um, I try and
tumble out of the way of his next attack."

0784-"Maybe you'd better not touch that?"

0785-"I need this blood for, uhh, an experiment."

0786-"Please press '#' to download your free navigation
software upgrade."

0787-"Shields are for cowards only!"

0788-"I can't jump to cover. If I would do so, they will fire at
Tom {another PC}, right?"

0789-"My magic-user stands at attention and gives the fire giants
the One-Finger Salute..."

0790-"I swing my double-bladed axe with a terrific outcry to
impress the other party members and to intimidate our opponents !
...  What do you mean the metal blades became loose and I only
still hold the wooden helve in my hand ? Where are they ?"

0791-"Sure I'd like to kiss her."

0792-"We can take him out -- we've all got stoneskin on!"

0793-"What do you mean I can't hide in shadows behind that sand
dune ?!"

0794-"I choose to trial in combat." {by a ranger lord, accused of
treason}

0795-"Well, that wizard's out of spells, charge !"

0796-"Okay, so they're looking furtive, jumpy, and nervous, are
carrying state of the art weaponry, and are heading down a tunnel
- I'll attempt to follow them stealthily."

0797-"Hello Mr. Cow, I've never..."  {said to a Minotaur}

0798-PC1:"Are the others all alright ?"
     PC2:"I don't know - they're all under water."

0799-"O.K., I'll divert the guards, you all go in the back gate."




                              - o -