MONTY PHYTHON'S COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME (CWOT) Warning: this file contains solutions! RIDE THROUGH Loonatorium First you must play Spot the Loony, the Loony Announcer will give you some clues. After the Announcer tells you to "Pay attention to everything you see", the bird man will fly out of the picture frame. Do not shoot him so you are sent to the Penalty Box. After you have watched the skit about the Spanish Inquisition you are ready to find the door. The door is located by the picture frame, by the bar where the ant walks. Scan the area with your mouse until you see the tip of the door. Click on the door, then on the sign that says "Enter Here" Go: Right, Right, Straight, Right, Left, Left you will now be asked the Trivia Questions. Now that you answered the 4 questions you have the letters MPFC on the left side of your dashboard. Exit the maze and play one more game of Spot the Loony. When the Loony Announcer tells you to enter the letter "R" press the letter "R" on your keyboard. The Loony Announcer will be trying to tell you something, but the cat has got his tongue (not this cat). What he is trying to tell you is to press the letters you got from the maze. So on your keyboard press the letters MPFC. You have now completed this lobe. TV Room The door is located in the TV. It is right after the program about Tchaikovsky. You can change programs by either clicking on the knob on the telly or by using Pythonvision. Pythonvision is accessed by clicking on the right button on the telly. To get to the door with Pythonvision scroll down to the Exploding Penguin and then click on it. When you enter this maze the first thing you have to do is turn around. Now go: Left, Straight, Left, Right, Straight, Right, Straight, Right. Now you have to turn around to get the Trivia Questions. Now is the time to blow up everything on the mantle and on the top of the TV. You will blow up a total of 10 thingys, 9 on the mantle and the dish on the T.V. When you have blown up the 10 thingys the announcer will come on the T.V. and tell you, "And it's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the penguin on the top of your television set to explode." This is your clue to set the bomb which will come out of the back of the chair. You need to click on the bomb to extend it. When the bomb is extended you may enter the numbers you got from the maze, to do this click on each number until you have the number you want. After you have entered the number, click on the clock. BAM one fried Penguin. You are now finished with that lobe. Portrait Gallery To find the door click on the picture of the Larch tree. You need to click around the middle of the trunk. The first thing you must do is turn around. Now go: Right, Straight, Left. You will now be taken on a roller coaster ride to the top of the "L". Now go Right, Left, Left, Right, Right. There are the Trivia Questions. Exit the maze and watch The Money Programme. Pick up the coin that landed on the floor and place it in the coin slot. The picture will now change to a slot machine, pull the lever. The object is to put the pictures from the maze in order on the slot machine windows. You do this by clicking on the window when that picture comes up. Easy right? What you have 4 pictures and only three slot windows, this could be a problem!? THINK!! OK I'll tell you. The first 3 pictures go in the first three windows, when this is done correctly the windows will start changing pictures again, set the middle window to the 4th picture. Corridor First you must get rid of the Whizzo Banners. To do this click on them in the following order: left purple banner with yellow letters yellow banner with black letters middle lavendar banner with purple letters right purple banner with yellow letters white banner with blue letters The pinball game will start up, click on the off button to get rid of it for now. The door is in the middle back arch, just above the cross bar and a little to the left. After entering the maze go: Left, Left, Left, Straight, Left, Left, you are now on the top of the "I" and there is a lift. Take this lift up. This lift will bring you to the middle of the left side of the letter "B". Go: Straight, Left. You are now at the bottom right of the "B". There is a lift for you to take up. This lift will take you to the upper left corner of the "A". Now go: Left, Right, and take this lift up. You are now going down the first "L", you will see a lift, take it up. This lift will take you to the last "L" going down. Turn Left. You will now see a sign that reads, "Pay attention to Everything" Eric will start doing his imitation of a trombone. Listen to him until he is finished. When Eric is done you will get the Trivia Questions. Let's play a little Pin Ball! The object is to hit the four essential clues in order. To do this do not use the flippers, but use your mouse pointer which has now turned to cross-hairs. Click on the icons in order and do not click on any other icons. After doing this correctly the pin ball machine will disappear. A plane will fly through the window and drop a bomb. Click on the bomb to release the foot. Test Your Skills Go to the Gopher Game. Play the game and watch for the door to pop out of the lower left hole. After entering the maze turn around. Now go: Straight, Right, Right, Straight, Left, Left. Now turn around and take this lift down. The lift has taken you to the lower right leg of the letter "A". Turn around, Eric will tell you "I see you got the hang of it". Take this lift down. You are now on the word MOLE on the bottom of the left leg of the "M". Now go: Right, Right, Left, Left, Right, Right, Left, Straight, Straight, Straight. Now look what you have done, the bloody maze is stuck. Keep clicking on the track until it starts up again. Now go: Left, Straight, Right. See that red button hanging in space? Click on it and you will be taken for a ride to the Trivia Questions. You now have the 4 essential clues one of which is the madwomen with the hammer, with the words 1st across her. The other clues are numbers. You need to play the games in this order: The Gopher Game (play until you reach the first number), The Pig Game (play until you obtain the 2nd number as your score) and The Bird Game (play this so your score is the same as your last number). Once you have completed these games the 3 sub lobes and the Test Your Skill lobe will be flashing. Pythonizer There are two ways to find this door. After the Pythonizer animation is drawn you can click on the only Larch tree that is visible and the door will pop up in the lower left corner. The other way to find the door is to click on the Meat Head Grinder to start him and the music. Then with your mouse pointer scan the lower left corner. Once the maze starts up you will fall off the track and into the sea!! A sign will appear with the words, "SPACE BAR" on it. When the sign stops swinging push the space bar on your keyboard. You will now be on a lift which will take you back to the maze, and will be on the letter "M". Turn around and go: Right, Right, Left, Left,Right, Right, Left, Left, turn around and take this lift down. This lift will take you for a ride down and then back up, but you will end up at the left middle side of the "H". Now go Right, Right, Left, Straight, Left, Right, Right, Left, Straight, Left, Turn around. You are now on the lower right of the letter "D". You will see a lift, take it down. This lift has taken you to the middle of the "G" Go: Right, Right, Left, Left. You have now entered d駛vu, you are going up the "R". Go Straight, Right, Right, Right, turn around, Straight, Right, Left, Left. The maze is now stuck, just keep clicking on it to get it started again. Now turn around and go: Left, Left, Right, Right, Left, (you will see an impaled birdman), go Left. The bloody maze is stuck again! Once again just keep clicking on the track until it starts up. Now turn around and go: Left, Straight, Straight, Straight, Left. You are going up the last "R". Go: Straight, Right, Right, Right, turn around, Straight, Right. This maze just keeps getting stuck, keeping clicking. When it starts up again you will get the Trivia Questions. Things are a real drag now. You have four icons as your clues. You are going to play Spot the Loony around the Meat Head Grinder, so click on him to start him up. Loonies will pop up around him. You need to spot them in the same order they appear in the maze. Click on the icon and hold on to it. Now drag the icon to the top of the Meat Head Grinder and drop it in. Do this with all four icons. The Brain You thought you were done, didn't you? Go to the brain, all the lobes are flashing, so now what do you do? Click on the new brain from Curry's, that's the new icon in the upper left corner of your screen. Now you get to play Simon. You remember Simon don't you? It is a game of follow the leader. The brain will flash different lobes and play some really rude sounds, you must click on the lobes in the same order. Play the first 3 levels by doing exactly what the brain does. On the fourth level just get the first lobe right then just click all over the brain until the game is finished. ___________________________________ TRIVIA QUESTIONS By the Number How many blows on the head does Mrs. Scum receive? 1 How many times is the dead parrot beaten against the shop counter? 5 What is the number of unsuccessful encyclopedia salesmen? 3 How many body sections does the ant have? 3 How many years until Ken Shabby gets a brush? 5 What is the number of cars at the drive-in? 6 How many verses in the Lumberjack song? 4 How many Mounties sing the chorus (of the Lumberjack song)? 8 How many can can girls are there? 2 How many seconds of sex? 10 How many people are watching television? 1 How many lobes of the brain are there? 6 How many explosions are there in the exploding Blue Danube sketch? 11 How many Spanish Inquisitors are there? 3 Complete the Following Phrase The first lesson of not being seen is not to .... Stand up Spam, bacon, sausage, and .... Spam I say, anyone for .... Tennis Your wife... is she a .... Goer Spanish .... Inquisition Ee Eecky .... Thump Nobody likes a .... Benedict [Note: This is the answer you must use for the game, however, us true Python fans really know that nobody likes a Clever Dick] Man with three .... Buttocks Old Nick the .... sea captain No time to .... lose Hello .... Sailor Hold your head and go .... Waaaagh! Just Questions What mountain has the biggest tits in the world? Mt. Everest What is the first word in Storytime? Hello What did Rumpletweezer run? The Dinky Tinky Shop What problem does the Royal Navy have under control? Cannibalism What colour is the phone in the agrument clinic? Gray or Green (You can use either answer) Who ate the crunchy frog? Superintendent Parrot What room is the Argument Clinic in? 12A Which cheese was eaten by the cat? Camembert What company makes the best butter? Whizzo What does the Norwegian Blue have? Beautiful plumage What choir did the Polly Parrot join? Invisible How does Polly Parrot feel? Dead What breed is the killer cat? Siamese What currency is kept in the fridge? French Francs What currency is kept in the pyjamas? Pounds What can be recognized from quite a long way away? The Larch Name of the contestant that opts for blows on the head. Mrs. Scum Atilla the Hun's gift to the children. Head Flying banner brand name. Whizzo The Lumberjack never wanted to be this. Barber Dirty Vicar's real name. Ronald Simms Alternative to burning, burying, or dumping. Eating Full-time occupation of the cat influenza man. Stapling machine - o -