The Hammer of Grimmold By 'Stormbringer' I had been summoned by Grimmold, the King of the Dwarves. 'What now?' I thought to myself as I was brought before him. As we feasted he told me the tale of Valk the evil magician and how he had stolen the fabled hammer of the dwarves, The Hammer Of Grimmold, symbol of the dwarves' health and virility. My mind became fuddled as I quaffed the horns of ale, and it was not long before the King had persuaded me to set out and bring back their lost hammer. Amongst cheers and good wishes and much back-slapping, they sent me on my way. Grimmold assured me that if I returned with the hammer my name would become legend and would be sung by bards for all time. As the cheering and singing faded and became mere echoes I could hear him shout "Remember to say my name when you meet a friend!" I found myself at the edge of a dark forest with steep mountains on the western side. The only way to go was east, from whence the rumours of Valk had come. Within a short time I had come upon a junction in the woods, routes led north-east, south and the mountains were behind me. Nothing else for it but to head north-east and, sure enough, I arrived at a clearing in the forest. 'What was that?' I thought to myself as my nostrils drew in the familiar smell of wood smoke, 'There it is again, coming from the east.' I decided to investigate and followed the scent, wishing the King had given me some means with which to protect myself. As I stepped out of the woods I startled a woodsman standing by a camp fire, he was holding an axe. On closer examination I found him to be a friend. "Grimmold," I said and his eyes lit up with recognition of the King's name. "A friend of the dwarves, eh?" he said, "If that's the case, then I may be able to help you in your quest, but first I must have my sharpening stone. Return it to me and I will give you this axe." 'Fair enough,' I thought, a stone shouldn't be too hard to find so off I went back up the way I had come. Once in the clearing I followed the trail north to an Inn, busy it was too by the sounds that came from within. I couldn't pass without calling in, after all it was getting near time to break my fast. As I stepped through the door I gave the room quick look and, as I did, my eye caught sight of three men at the bar. 'Wouldn't like to meet them on a dark night,' I muttered under my breath. At this point the portly landlord beckoned me over to a table in the corner. "Sit ye down, good sir," he said with a nervous laugh, "Certainly, landlord," I replied. "What have you to offer a weary traveller this very morn?" "I have advice to give for anyone who's a friend of the dwarf king." "Grimmold," I whispered so as not to arouse suspicion. "Verily, sir, you are a friend, I will tell you this to help you in your quest. You will need Troll's dust to defeat Valk." A roar went up as a drunken traveller barged past the three hooded men. He opened the door and disappeared into the morning sun. Not wanting to overstay my welcome, I supped my ale and left. Once outside I heard the door being bolted from the inside, moments later I could hear muffled cries and chairs being thrown around inside. I tried to get back in but to no avail. With dread in my heart, I headed north. Upon leaving the Inn, and hearing the cacophony from inside, I decided there was nothing I could do, and headed north. I quickly caught up with the drunken traveller who had left earlier. He stumbled. "Steady" I said, and helped him to his feet. As I did so, a small shiny object fell from his pocket. I stooped to pick it up and discovered it to be a small corkscrew. "Here you go" I said as I straightened up. "What?" the drunk was nowhere to be seen, he had disappeared! Heading back the way I had come, I tripped on some stones that were sticking up out of the path, upon further examination I found a bronze coin. "Things are looking up" I thought to myself. Here the path took a turn to the east, and as I hadn't been that way yet, I followed it, then going in a northeasterly direction before it headed east again. It lead me straight to a huge gnarled oak tree, its massive trunk shooting skyward like an arrow. Thinking that I might be able to see where exactly I was if I climbed it, I scrambled up into its branches and discovered a hole leading down into the heart of the ancient oak. I clambered down into the opening of the hole and trod on something cold and hard. "By the beard of Grimmold, what is this I've found now?" I reached down and grasped the object and pulled it out ....... it was a crowbar. "Now that might come in useful" I mused. Not wishing to go further down into the heart of the tree without any light, I climbed back out and down to the ground. Remembering the rock that I had seen blocking the entrance to a cave earlier, I decided to try and see if I couldn't shift it with my new-found tool. Heading back up the path to the west I soon arrived back at the rock, and proceeded to lever the rock away from the entrance. With much sweat and more than a little luck, I forced the rock away. I slowly made my way into the cave ............ "Crom!" I cursed as I tripped over something in the darkness. As I lay there my eyes became more accustomed to the lack of light and I could make out the shape of something lying up against the cave wall, I looked a little closer and was shocked to discover an old man, dressed in filthy rags and looking near to death. "Valk did this to me" he muttered, so taking him to be a friend I spoke the name Grimmold to him, his eyes lit up and he said this to me .... "Put a coin in my cup, kind sir, and I will reward you with the gift of everlasting strength." I reached into my tunic and drew out the bronze coin that I had found on the path and dropped it into the old man's begging cup ....... he handed me a small round thing rather like the sweetmeats my mother used to make. "It is a pill," he whispered, "eat it and you will be blessed with everlasting strength." "I thank you, kind sir, and now I had best be on my way." I rose and left the old man humming to himself, happy in the knowledge that he had perhaps done something to help repay Valk for what he had done to him. As I went out of the cave I examined the pill and thought "which way now?" I decided to go to the southwest and then headed west into the woods until I came across a dead giant, he was lying across what looked like a pair of boots, I tried in vain to move the giant off of them, but to no avail ........ "the pill," I remembered. I swallowed the pill. "Could have done with some good ale to wash it down with," I thought. A tingling feeling coursed through my veins and I felt like I could take on Valk and all of his armies single- handed. Rolling the giant after this was simple, I rolled him like a small twig and I grabbed the boots and ran. Going northeast and then following the trail south, southwest, south and then southeast to a river bank, I examined the boots and found them a good fit. "Just the thing for crossing the stepping stones to the other side of this river," I thought. So off I went across the stones, which were covered in slippery green moss, but my new-found boots gave me good grip and I was across in no time. I found myself on a path which headed north alongside the river and then turned east and then north again - to a graveyard! Places like this made me wish I had stayed a humble serf, and not been talked into this crazy adventure by King Grimmold. As I stepped into the main graveyard itself I scared off some graverobbers intent in stealing from the coffin that they had dug up. "I wonder what they were after in there?" I lifted the lid and looked inside. On the skeleton was placed a wooden cross. "This might come in handy," I said to myself. "Especially if the tales of vampires in Valk's castle are true," I added. I took the cross and the coffin lid as well, which was made of good strong wood and might come in useful. Going west out of the graveyard and then northeast I came across a wooden hut, built on stilts to keep it out of the mud. On making my way to the door of the hut, I noticed something lying in the mud under the hut itself. Looking closer I discovered a shaped stone, it was the sharpening stone that the woodsman had wanted. I entered the hut and found an old lamp sitting on the wooden table in the middle of the room. The flint was still attached and there was plenty of oil. Taking this I left the hut and headed back through the forest to the southwest, northwest, northeast and then east into the clearing where the woodsman lived. I gave him the sharpening stone and in return he gave me an axe. "Just the thing to break back into the Inn with," I said to myself. Off I went back to the Inn where the fight had taken place earlier, going west and then north along the stony path. I soon came across the door to the Inn which was still locked, no sound could be heard as I knocked on the door, there was no reply. "Nothing else for it," I thought, "I'll have to break the door down," so I smashed at the door with the axe. In no time at all the door gave way, but so did the axe. The axe would be of no further use to me, I threw it away and entered the Inn. Smashing down the door had vented some of the anger I had felt when I was unable to re-enter the Inn previously. Upon entering the Inn, I could see the result of the noises I had heard earlier. The place was a shambles and in the middle of the floor lay the landlord who had helped me earlier. I went over and examined him. I discovered he was dead, but in my search I also found the keys to the cellar which lay beneath the trapdoor in the floor. I looked around the room before going down and found a black hood, the same kind that Valk's men wore. "That might be useful," I thought to myself as I slipped it over my head. I then unlocked the trapdoor and went down into the void below. In the cellar was an old chest, which luckily opened with one of the keys on the cellar ring. In the chest was an ancient Sunstone, I had only heard tales that such things existed, but I knew of its magic powers. I put it over my head and the Sunstone hung comfortably around my neck. I made my way out of the cellar and left the Inn, heading in a roughly northeasterly direction. It wasn't long before I could make out strange sounds of hammering and sawing to the north of me. Heading north, I soon came across a huge Troll guarding several dwarves who were busy repairing a bridge. From my knowledge of the Sunstone and what the Landlord had told me, I knew I just had to cast the light of the Sunstone at the Troll and he would become stone. This I did and I then hit the now immobile Troll with the crowbar and he crumbled like dust at my feet. I scooped up the dust knowing full well that I would need it to defeat Valk. Before approaching the dwarves and the bridge I decided to try my luck in the cave to the east. Once inside I lit the lamp and proceeded eastward. I soon came across a hooded figure who acknowledged my presence with a wave and then he moved off further into the inky blackness, but as he did so he dropped something; a knife. I hastily picked up the article, and made my way out of the cave before he came back. Going back to the bridge, I said "Grimmold" to the dwarves and they recognised the king's name and greeted me heartily. I offered the dwarves the coffin lid, and they thanked me as it would finish the work they were doing. The bridge now repaired I headed north across it, then working my way to the northwest I discovered a wizard tied to a mighty tree by means of a rope. "Don't waste your time trying to untie me" he said, adding "The rope has magic powers that not even I can overcome". Not one to be put off, I decided to try the Sunstone. The rope dropped from around the wizard's waist and fell to the ground. "You might as well have this" he said, thanking me. I gratefully accepted the rope and headed northwest again. I soon arrived at a cliff-face upon which sat a Roc's nest, a bird legend in these parts for thieving pretty objects. Curious to see what this one had been up to lately I threw my new-found magic toy, and hastily climbed up into the nest. Once in the nest, I discovered to my delight a diamond, the likes of which I have never seen before or since for that matter. Not wanting to wait around and introduce myself to the Roc (for I knew they were partial to the odd traveller as well!) I scrambled down as quickly as was safe. Once on the ground I made my way to the huge oak tree that I had seen and climbed up it to see if I could make out the way to go next. When I reached the top of the mighty oak I discovered to my surprise an entrance down into the heart of the tree. With my trusty lamp now lit, I ventured down into the darkness. At once I came to the bottom and then headed along the passage. It wasn't long before I could go no further - a huge rock stood in my way. "How will I overcome this little problem?" I thought. I tried everything I could think of - levering it, rolling it, hitting it and even in the end kicking it, and much to my disgust I discovered that rock was very much harder than human flesh! Ouch! In the end I tried the only course left to me, the Sunstone. I should have known ... within seconds the rock had disappeared and in so doing it had revealed what I had suspected all along, the passageway went deeper. Heading in what I took to be an easterly direction, I soon came across a rubbish tip. "This must be for Valk's fortress," I said to myself. "Mind you I wouldn't have thrown this away," I added as I stooped to pick up a piece of fine dwarf cheese. "I had better keep this for later." Although I hadn't eaten since my first visit to the Inn, I knew that it would be better to save the cheese for later in case of hunger. "Mind you, I am very hungry, a little piece wouldn't hurt." I took a tiny chunk and popped it into my mouth. I soon realised that the cheese was rancid, and more than likely poisoned for the rats. No wonder it looked so fresh, it had been put there on purpose. At the top of the stack of rubbish I found a hole leading up into the fortress. Using the rope I climbed out into what looked like a cellar, and in it a dwarf was busy working. Again I spoke "Grimmold" and the kind fellow gave me an Orc uniform with which to make my way around Valk's domain. I searched the uniform and found a small vial of balm. Not knowing yet what it was for, I placed it back into my pocket and put on the uniform. Taking my trusty magic rope, I went up the steps out of the cellar and went east and then north into the first cell. On searching the cell, I found a skeleton of some poor soul who had suffered at the hands of Valk's men. On examining the bones I found a clue which would help me in dealing with the Orc guards. "So they like a drink do they," I mused. "If only I had some wine or the like," I thought. On further examination of the cell I discovered a piece of string tied to the grille which supposedly gave fresh air to the prisoner. I pulled at the string and out came a flagon - empty, but never the less in good order. "If I could only find something to put in it," I said, "there must be a wine cellar hereabouts somewhere." I went out of the cell and slowly made my way along the corridor leading to the east and then south, southeast, north and then finally east again. I came to an abrupt halt, for in my way was a gigantic Orc. Donning what I hoped was a relaxed smile, I sauntered up to the Orc. A massive creature he was, a full eight feet tall and carrying a mighty gem-studded sword. "Perhaps he has a fondness for jewels," I thought to myself and held out the diamond I had pilfered from the Roc's nest. To my delight, he took it and telling me to "Have a nice day" he went off to put it in his locker, leaving behind a useful-looking key, which, of course, I took. Taking the staircase nearby, I found myself on the second floor of the fortress. A corridor led west and to the south I found a small room with a chute. Going south again, I discovered a wine cellar and filled the empty flagon I was still carrying with some fine wine, remembering the message I had found earlier which had told me that the Orc guards were partial to a drink or three. Going north, east, then north again brought me outside a cell, but in front of the stairs which led down to the door lay a sleeping Orc. "No doubt his sleep could do with being a bit deeper," I mused, and carefully placed the full flagon by him, then almost laughed out loud when I saw how the fellow's nose twitched as the aroma of the wine floated upwards. Quietly I tip-toed back to the previous location and waited for a time while I caught my breath from all these adventures. "Time is up, I must keep moving," I decided, and returned north. There the orc lay, dead to the world - not dead but dead drunk. "Good enough for my purposes," I decided as I removed a large key from about his person. Down the stairs I went, and unlocked the cell door. Inside, several Dwarves hung from chains. "Grimmold," I said, seeing they were friends. One threw a forceps by my feet, which I picked up, then I unlocked the wretches' chains. They bounded up the stairs, laughing and shouting at their new-found freedom. One paused. "This might come in handy," he shouted at me, rolling an onion towards my feet. "I wonder how?" I thought, but picked up the vegetable anyway. Remembering the dwarf who had helped me on my first arrival, I returned to the cellar and freed him from his shackles too and he escaped through the hole in the floor with gratitude in his eyes. I climbed back to the second floor and to a notice I had spied there earlier. "To enter the hallowed halls of Valk, you must carry the tail from a rat, a tooth from a vampire, a scale from a dragon and a wish from a genie. Then stand by the steel door and ring the bell," I read. "What a curious list of items. I had better look around and see if I can find them." Exploring this floor, I found the corridors lay in a figure of eight, with four locked rooms leading off. Unlocking the first one, I went to enter but flames drove me back. "A dragon must be in here," I decided "But how can I protect myself from the heat?" Then I recalled the balm I had found in the uniform I was wearing and rubbed it onto myself. The strange concoction was all I needed to keep out the heat and I strode into the room. Big he may have been, but I could see at a glance that this dragon was not as tough as he appeared, being prone to crying. Swiftly, I peeled the onion and tears ran from his eyes. His body convulsed with such sobs that he shook and a scale fell from his back. "Thank you, dragon!" I cried as I grabbed the scale and left the room. "Now for a vampire's tooth" I decided and unlocked another door. Inside, the blood-sucking creature lay in wait but before he could pierce my tender neck with his fangs I threw the cross at him. It buried itself in his chest and with a gurgle, he expired. Picking up the corpse, I returned to the central corridor and entered a dentist's surgery. "Vampires a speciality" I read from the notice and, as instructed, put my deceased companion in the chair. In dashed the dentist. He took one look in the creature's mouth and proclaimed "One to come out." Taking my forceps, he extracted the offending tooth and rushed out again. "Obviously a busy practice," I thought to myself as I left with two of the objects I needed in my grasp. "Now for a rat's tail," I said, as I unlocked the next door. Sure enough, inside was a rat - the biggest rat I'd ever seen. Our eyes met and I saw him eye my rounded frame and start to lick his lips. "Chew on this," I shouted as I offered the cheese to him. One chomp and it was gone ... and so was he. He keeled over, stone dead and with one deft cut I removed the creature's tail. "Three down, one to go," I thought. Unlocking and entering the fourth door I found a bottle in the middle of the floor. In it was a genie, imprisoned since the time of the first fairy story and through the walls of his glass prison he signalled to me that if I freed him, he would reward me. Broken finger nails surrounded the bottle where other less well prepared adventurers had attempted to free him and, grasping the corkscrew that I had carried almost since the start of my travels, I pulled the cork. The genie emerged in a plume of smoke, dropped a wish for me and left as quickly as he could. "That's the lot," I said, as I made my way to the stairs leading up to Valk's secret quarters. The steel door had no hinges, handles or keyhole, just a bell which I rang. The door rose, then crashed down behind me as I entered. I walked north and entered Valk's chamber where he waited, accompanied by two Orc guards, the whole room illuminated by hundreds of blazing torches. Remembering the Innkeeper's words, I immediately threw the troll dust in his eyes. He screamed with pain but started to advance towards me. Swiftly I threw the magic rope at him and watched in amazement as it coiled round his neck, drawing tighter and tighter until his eyes bulged and he fell to the floor. With his death, his body disintegrated and the two Orc guards, who had been watching open-mouthed in horror, ran out of the room as fast as their feet could carry them. "It's bloomin' magic!" one cried to his companion as they disappeared from view. There in front of me lay the Hammer and, reverently, I picked it up. A strange force propelled me through space and I landed on a stone bridge south of Grimmold's kingdom. "Saves on shoe leather," I remarked as I crossed the bridge and walked north to meet the King, many dwarves running at my side, cheering and clapping me on the back as I did so. I gave him the Hammer and he held it aloft, bringing forth a mighty cheer from all those assembled. "We are most grateful to you for bringing the Hammer back to its rightful place," he said to me. "My people will now be able to face the future with their faith and courage restored." As for me, I reckon I should be able to dine out on this tale for years!